Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Review: Wreck-it Ralph

The Wife: Disney has once again produced another fantastic movie with Wreck-it Ralph. Seriously when did it become “cool” to hate on Disney? Why are the Star Wars super nerds worried? Disney seldom produces crap. Disney rarely disappoints (especially when it is a Disney-Pixar film), and Wreck-it Ralph is a prime example of Disney awesomeness.

Wreck-it Ralph was just flat out fun. After a week of election stress and sporting events gone terribly wrong, sometimes you just need to escape with a fun, light-hearted movie. Wreck-it Ralph is one of those special films that both children AND adults can enjoy.

For the video game enthusiast, Wreckit Ralph brought lots of nostalgia with recognizable video game characters, such as the infamous ghost from Pac-Man. However, even if you don’t know video games, Wreck it Ralph still provided plenty of entertainment. The plot centers around Ralph, the “villain” of Fix-it Felix Jr, an old school arcade game. After spending 30 years of being the “bad guy” and always feeling left out, Ralph seeks out new adventures and looks to earn a medal of his own by being the hero for once. He travels through other games and eventually lands in Sugar Rush, where he meets fellow misfit, Vanellope, also known as the game’s “glitch.” Sugar Rush, a game which looks quite similar to Mario Kart, has banned Vanellope from racing due to her being a glitch. Determined to race again, Vanellope and Ralph eventually join forces to change their destinies. Meanwhile, Felix, of Ralph’s game, travels through the other games to track Ralph down and bring him back. Of course, it isn’t all fun and games (haha oh puns) as the evil Candy King and a mysterious alien egg look to shake up the arcade world.

Overall Wreck-it Ralph was a fantastic movie. It was funny, but also had a somewhat serious side as it dealt with issues that all kids (and even some adults face), like acceptance and finding one’s place in the world. As someone who typically ALWAYS figures out plot twists, Wreck-it Ralph succeeded in completely throwing me off from one major event. Bravo, Disney! After the twist was revealed I had a “duh!” moment, but I loved that I was caught off guard.

I would highly recommend seeing Wreck-it Ralph. Young and old alike, this film has something for everyone to enjoy!

Hobo Dan: I just pee’d a little. In my pants.

Wreck-it Ralph is that great. I feel like I need to see it again to try and pick out all the small video game references I missed the first time. But fear not my minions who may be less than fluent in all things video games, you do not need this extra knowledge to enjoy this wonderful film. From start to finish, this film is top shelf entertainment. The voice talent is great, the animation are perfect. What’s even more amazing is how they nailed the old school 8 and 16 bit Arcade animations and music. I felt like I was watching someone play the NES! The story was funny and impactful for adults and children. The Wife covered pretty much all I have to say. Go see this movie, you won’t be sorry.

Now where is my NES?

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Disney buys Star Wars

I was suppose to make a short post today explaining were we have been. I wanted to inform you we will be posting about our October vacation soon and reviewing Wreck-it-Ralph for next Monday. Then, Disney bought Lucusfilm and annouced Star Wars Episode 7 for a 2015 release...

And the Internet exploded...

I have experienced the 5 stages of grief since I heard this news yesterday. First, right after the Wife told me, I denied it. No, this was just the most epic Internet Trololol ever. But too many reputable sites ran the story with pictures and numbers and... So then, Daniel got angry! How can this be? It's one thing that you buy Marvel! But now Star Wars! I got down on my knees and begged, bargained and pleaded with the force, "I will do anything!" Disney, you can buy Marvel, but you can never take my Star Wars! The force remained quiet, so I sank into sarrow.

Acceptance. I sat on the couch this morning before work and watched some TV. I saw a commercial for Wreck-it-Ralph. A Disney movie I will be seeing this Friday. I am excited to see this film. It looks really good. You know what else is good? Every Pixar movie. Who owns Pixar? Disney. I also liked the new Tron movie they made and of course I like the Pirates movies. So what am I afraid of?

Honestly, I don't know. George Lucas has already whored Star Wars out in every possible way. There is Star Wars everything (including Angry Birds). Let's not even mention Episode I. This has devalued the franchise to me. Everyone should just calm down, it's only Star Wars. What was once sacred and cherished is more of a joke now. Merchandised and marketed and focused on making money. We cannot go back to 1977, so everyone just needs to stop crying.

The bright side is that Disney has the money and the power to do what ever they want with Star Wars and do it right! They could give the reins to someone new and they could make something awesome. Have the Marvel movies been bad since Disney took over? Some would argue The Avengers is the best comic movie ever made (not me). Disney helped in that. No, I don't believe we need a new trilogy, but we are getting one. So why not make it as good as possible? What if Disney gave Star Wars to Joss Whedon? Would not the fan boys and girls cry out in joy? What if Disney decided to build an entire theme park in Orlando for Star Wars? Who shall step forth and oppose this? A tired old franchise has been pulled away from the grips of a tired old emperor and just maybe has been given new life.

I think it is far too early to panic. I think it is far to early to rage. What if this is the best thing to happen to Star Wars since "I am your father."?

Monday, September 24, 2012

Review: Finding Nemo 3D

The Wife: After a hiatus that came from being busy and a lack of good films out, we are finally back with an edition of Movie Monday! We know all you Dump readers are thrilled. With quite a few movies that came out in recent weeks, we actually chose to see a movie we’ve already seen! Yes, that’s right we totally saw Finding Nemo 3D like the awesome grownups we are!

We chose to see Finding Nemo 3D for a variety of reasons. First off, we wanted something light and fun since we were both exhausted from the 5K we did earlier that morning. The main reason, however, is that I absolutely LOVE Finding Nemo and wasn’t about to turn down a chance to see it on the big screen! Also, this actually was my first time seeing Nemo at the theatre. Not to mention, it had actually been quite awhile since I saw Nemo in full. Finding Nemo was just as cute as I remembered. I laughed like a kid at all the jokes and even picked up on some funny moments I hadn’t really noticed during previous viewings. For a movie that already looked speculator during its first release, I truthfully didn’t notice too much of a difference with the 3D. The picture did look sharper and crisper, which was great. I picked up on a few actual 3D moments, but if you are looking to be wowed simply by the 3D, then you may be disappointed. However, even without 3D, I would have seen Finding Nemo anyway!

For the actual plot of the movie, there isn’t much to say since it’s already been out for several years. When I first saw they were bringing Nemo back to the theatre I was happy but thought “hmm that movie isn’t even that old.” Then reality hit and it dawned on me that it was nearly 10 years old. Wow. Between this and Full House turning 25 over the weekend, things keep popping up to remind me how old I am getting! Then again, age is only a number and this is why I feel no shame in seeing a movie like Finding Nemo 3D at the theatre! Overall, I really enjoyed seeing Finding Nemo 3D. It was a fun evening out with HoboDan. Nemo has always been one of my favorite Disney-Pixar movies and the only thing I missed was not hearing the music that you get with the live Nemo show at Walt Disney World’s Animal Kingdom! My fellow Disney fanatics will know what I mean. “In that big blueeee worllddd!”

As with most Disney-Pixar films, we got a “short” before Nemo started. I consider the Toy Story trilogy to be far and above the BEST of all the Disney-Pixar movies, so naturally I was pumped for a Toy Story short! I really think the trilogy ended perfectly and don’t think more movies should be made, but I LOVE the Toy Story shorts and hope they keep making more! The short was very cute and easily my favorite part of our Finding Nemo 3D movie night experience. I really hope Disney continues to bring back old favorites. I will probably be first in line to get tickets if they re-release Aladdin or The Little Mermaid! Now, before I say goodbye please don’t laugh too much at my expense when you read HoboDan’s most-likely, typical hilarious Movie Monday review!

Hobo Dan: I sit back in my comfy theater chair, crack into my Sour Patch kids and prepare for another movie. Going to movies really is the best. I slip my 3D glasses out of their plastic wrap and whimper slightly, “this really craps on the fun though…” I know, they re-released Finding Nemo specifically for 3D, but I still hate 3D. I would have gladly seen Nemo again in standard! But I move on, the 3D effects in Finding Nemo were nonexistent anyways. A few more Sour Patches down the hatch and the trailers begin. A calm voice tells me to put on my 3D glasses (and then give in to the Matrix). I slip then on. The Wife grumbles about something, I didn’t hear the complaint over my glee at the Wreck-it-Ralph trailer and my own chewing.

“God this is blurry!” The Wife says. I heard her this time; as did everyone in the room. She removed her 3D glasses (which she has to wear over her regular glasses) and begins cleaning them off. I eat some popcorn even though the movie itself hasn’t started; (a cardinal sin to The Wife) she doesn’t notice. The Wife puts her 3D glasses back on and grumbles again “This is still blurry!” She removes both the 3D glasses and her regular spectacles and cleans both of them thoroughly. By this time the special Toy Story short film is beginning. She quickly put both sets of glasses back on and watches the short (by the way, I really love how companies are doing short cartoon like stories before movies again!) The short finishes and the Wife turns to me and frowns. I look at her, sour patches still stuck in my teeth…

“What’s the problem?” I start using my tongue to remove remnants of small sour children.

“Is this blurry to you?” She says in her ‘this is the end of the world if not fixed right now’ tone. I slowly look at the screen and then back to her.

“No.”

“Ugh! Trade me!” The Wife removes her 3D glasses and hands them to me. I get them a foot from my face when I realize the problem and hand them back to her.

“These are your sunglasses.”

Monday, September 17, 2012

Slowtember

Sorry about the slow September everyone. We at Dump have been super busy with the Mothman 5k. Now that that's over, it’s time for us to get back to our normal ranting.

As a programming note, coming in October we will be on vacation and will be doing daily mini blogs like last year. Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party included! We are kicking around the idea of posting some videos from the trip as well! Just what you all need, video of me being grumpy.

While we pull ourselves together this week, why don’t you all throw some suggestions in the comments for things we should write about in the coming months? Obviously we plan to see our fair share of movies, but what else would you like to see filling the blog on a weekly basis? Do any of you support the idea of a video blog (V-log) from us?

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Fall 2012 TV Preview!!

The Wife: Well with the summer basically over, it’s time for us to glue ourselves to the ole’ tube for some Fall TV! The summer season is primarily filled with re-runs, which means when I am watching television it is usually a Pirates baseball game or something on Netflix. Needless to say I am excited for some of my favorite shows to return! Below I share my thoughts on what to expect for this year’s new show seasons. I primarily only cover shows I watch with a few extra, so if your show isn’t covered, then tell me in the comments below what you are and aren’t excited for. Well, on with my most likely bias reviews of what we can expect for the fall television season:

AMC

1. The Walking Dead - I really love AMC’s original programs. It is home to my favorite show, Mad Men, and second favorite show, The Walking Dead. Unfortunately Mad Men won’t return for awhile, but The Walking Dead is set to come back for season three on Oct. 14. It is the show that I am most excited for this fall, which is why I chose to discuss it first! I mean it has zombies, which makes it awesome, but it also provides us with a realistic look at human nature in terms of survival. Last season of Walking Dead ended with a bang. We lost two core characters, Dale and Shane. I saw Shane’s death coming, but Dale’s was completely unexpected. The show also ended with the core group being run off the farm that they had taken refuge at by a herd of zombies. It finally showed the leader, Rick, grow a pair. It showed us more of how sucky and Lady MacBeth-like Rick’s wife, Lori, was. Friendships were tested. We learned that everyone is infected by the zombie virus. (I must note that I totally called that ever since the CDC guy whispered something in Rick’s ear at the end of season one!) It ended with the group overlooking a prison, which has been confirmed as the set for much of season three. If you are a Walking Dead comic fan, you probably were happy to see the arrival of Michonne. This coming season’s trailer makes me think that we are once again in for an epic and intense ride. It will be interesting to see where things go. I am sure the group is still reeling from their losses, Sophia, Dale and even Shane, who regardless of what you thought of his character was a reason the group survived for so long. And the best part of all for Walking Dead this season is the return of Daryl’s crazy brother MERLE! I have been waiting for him to come back with revenge in mind since he was left on the roof in season one! Seriously I could go on and on talking about Walking Dead all day, but there are other shows to discuss! (Return Date: Oct. 14, 9 p.m.)

FOX

1. Glee – So I said repeatedly that last season would be my last of Glee, one of my favorite shows, because I didn’t think it would feel the same after the core characters graduated. However, last season’s emotionally-charged finale, which had me in tears, invested me in season four. Not to mention, many of my favorites will return, such as Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel! I can’t wait to see their storylines play out in NYC. Also, another Britney tribute episode is in store. Yay! While Glee has lost its mojo (let’s face it, it hasn’t been there since season one), I will still tune in for the laughter and music! (Return Date: Sept. 12, 9 p.m.)

2. New Girl – New Girl is my proclaimed “breakout” show of the 2011-2012 television season. The show is hilarious for one, and the characters have been well established, which is important for sitcoms in today’s drama-filled TV craze. Unlike Whitney (premiered last year on ABC), New Girl really found it’s “mojo” after a few episodes. Zooey Deschanel is great, but it is her quirky roommates that make the show, especially loveable, yet douchey-Schmidt. The will they or won’t they undertones of Deschanel’s character, Jess, and roommate Nick also make the show worth watching. (Return Date: Sept. 24, 8 p.m.)

ABC

1. Greys Anatomy – I gave up on this show after the 2011 finale, but still checked in and caught a few episodes here and there last season. I began to get invested again and then Grey’s creator Shonda Rhymes chose to stab me in the heart by killing off Lexi Grey! Now it has been confirmed that Eric Dane, the oh so hot McSteamy is leaving the show. If they kill him off (which means no guest appearances) I will be furious. Greys used to be my number one show, but I think it’s time to end this medical disaster. It’s become too much like ER with so many characters/revolving cast that it just isn’t that interesting anymore. I miss the old days with the core interns. The show really hasn’t been the same since they killed off George and Izzie left. I am sure I will still try to catch up with Greys, but it certainly is not a priority anymore. (Return Date: Sept. 26, 9 p.m.)

2. Private Practice – Is this show still on?! Seriously it is awful now. I loved Addison on Greys, but her character is terrible on Private Practice. No more Pete now? No. Supposedly Kate Walsh (Addison) says this will be her last season, so hopefully they can somehow salvage this season and give Addison a happy ending. Will I watch this? Doubtful, but I am sure I will still catch up on the plot. Who knows maybe it can get interesting and suck me in again! (Return Date: Sept. 24, 10 p.m.)

3. Dancing With the Stars All-Stars – Normally I would leave reality TV off, but this is too good not to mention. For several seasons now I have said they need to do an all-stars cast, and it is finally here! I wish season mirror ball winner and former Steelers player, Hines Ward, would have signed on, but other than that the cast looks pretty good. Of course they brought back Bristol Palin for their token “controversial” contender, which I think is stupid, but oh well! I am not a Bristol basher, as that got annoying during her season, but I do think there were other former contestants they could have put in her place. Oh well, I am giving ABC exactly what they want by talking about her. I look forward to seeing Shawn Johnson again (despite her being paired with “Diva Derek”) as well as Drew Lachey, Emmitt Smith and Gilles Marini. (Return Date: Sept. 23, 8 p.m.)

NBC

1. The Office – I loved The Office for years and while it still holds a place in my heart, I am glad this is its final season. Truthfully the show lost much of its steam after season four. While there are still funny moments, it just isn’t the same. The loss of Michael Scott also hurt the show. Sometimes it is good to end a show before it gets completely stale. I can only hope we see Michael Scott at least one more time before we say goodbye to the crew at Dunder-Mifflin. (Return Date: Sept. 19, 9 p.m.)

2. 30 Rock – Sadly, I just recently began watching this amazing show thanks the beauty of Netflix. It is also set to finish its last season. I love 30 Rock and can’t wait to see what this season brings. It is definitely my pick for “current funniest show.” (Return Date: TBA)

3. Parks and Recreation- Sorry guys but I’ve only watched a handful of episodes on Netflix from season one, so I have no idea what is in store for the final season of Parks and Recreation. Hopefully it will be a good sendoff for Leslie Knope! (Return Date: Sept. 19, 9:30 p.m.)

CBS

1. How I Met Your Mother – Can’t wait for this show to return. Last season’s reveal that Robin is Barney’s future bride has me amped to see what is in store. I am thrilled that Barney and Robin are “endgame.” This season is also the last for HIMYM, so we should finally get the big “mother” reveal. I am not sure how I feel about that. It’s like I want to know, but then I am afraid that she has been so built up that it may be a disappointment. Oh well, we shall see! Besides, I don’t love HIMYM for the mother mystery, I love the show for its comedy and very-“Friends-esque” relationships amongst the main characters. I also look forward to seeing how Marshall and Lily will deal with their new baby, Marvin Wait For It Erickson, this season! It’s going to be, Legen, wait for it, dary! (Return Date: Sept. 23, 8 p.m.)

2. Two and a Half Men – Is this show still on? Sorry Ashton Kutcher, you are much better suited to the role of Kelso. I will only continue to watch this show when I catch the occasional re-run on TV. (Return Date: Sept. 27, 9 p.m.)

3. The Big Bang Theory – Oh Sheldon Cooper, my favorite fictional nerd, how I can’t wait for your return! That is all. (Return Date: Sept. 26, 8 p.m.)

The CW

1. The Vampire Diaries – The Vampire Diaries is the teen drama I anticipate the return of the most. Some call these types of shows guilty pleasures, well I see nothing to be guilty about as I am not afraid to shout my Vampire Diaries love to the world. The third season of Vampire Diaries changed the scope of the show forever with the main protagonist Elena dying and then turning into a vampire, something she said she never wanted to become. It will be interesting to see how she handles her transition, and I personally hope we can see some villainous nature from the often boring, always self-righteous Elena. We also lost fan favorite, Alaric, so I am sure his loss will be felt. The love triangle is surely to continue as now that Elena is a vampire she will remember that she met the sexy Damon first rather than boring, dull Stefan. While she “chose” Stefan at the end of season three before her death much to the chagrin of the majority of Vampire Diaries fans, we knew that it wasn’t over between her and Damon. I really hope the writers can give the fans what they want and explore a real relationship with Elena and Damon. Honestly Elena-Stefan is so played out now, and frankly, I don’t want to wait for the series finale for Damon and Elena to finally end up together. I guess now that Elena is a vampire they have an eternity to decide, however. (Return Date: Oct. 11, 8 p.m.)

2. Gossip Girl – Last season I was excited for Gossip Girl thanks to the hints at finally getting Blair and Dan together. Well they got them together, which produced some of the most-well developed episodes since the show’s inaugural season. It finally showed a seemingly healthy and non-abusive relationship for a show that is primarily about sex, sex and more sex. I am not asking Gossip Girl to become a moral high ground, but it was nice to see Blair fall for the “pauper” Dan and get away from abusive, controlling Chuck. The “Dair” relationship re-invigorated my love of Gossip Girl and showed that the writers were capable of character development. However, this all went to heck when the writers chose to pander to crazy fourteen year old girls who apparently were making death threats if the abuse-centric couple of Blair and Chuck were not reunited. The season five finale was a DISASTER and killed all development for nearly every character. It also majorily jumped the shark by bringing back a character who was supposed to be dead and worst of all sent out the message that abusive relationships are ok. It makes me sick. I once was a Chuck-Blair fan until he sold her for a hotel and then attempted to physically harm her. Sorry, I can’t support a show that makes light of abuse. So goodbye, Gossip Girl and good riddance! Thank goodness season six is the final season for this garbage! (Return Date: Oct. 8, 9 p.m.)

3. 90210- This show has just become so scattered that I only catch episodes here and there. The only character I like is Naomi. I won’t watch on a regular basis but will probably catch some eps online to see what she is up to. Seriously this 90210 isn’t even in the same league as the original Beverly Hills 90210! I mean, they never even hang out at the Peach Pit anymore! Nat must be so sad. I wonder if he is still making up money for all the “on the house” meals he gave to the original gang? (Return Date: Oct. 8, 8 p.m.)

So there you go. My thoughts on what’s to come for the fall 2012 television season. I must note that I also anticipate the return of Downton Abbey, my other favorite show. However, it sadly won’t be back until January. Let us know what shows you look forward to this fall in the comment section. Happy TV watching!!!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Fall 2012 Movie Preview

Truth.
After many months of slacking, the seasonal movie preview returns. I am busy, so lets make this fast. I am here to tell you what my hype level is for a few movies coming this fall. Those levels are: Go see it now! Wait for post theatrical release or, never ever see this movie. I personally shun those who go against my advice.

If I miss anything, please give me my flogging in the comments below.

Resident Evil: Retribution (Sept. 14)
LOL Wut? I saw a long trailer for this online and had no idea there were so many Resident Evil movies. I saw the first one and it was terrible so I moved on with life. I guess someone sees them. I won't be counted among them. Seriously, the zombie and vampire fad is played out. It's time for another mythical creature to take over. I vote for a tale about a unicorn that falls in love with a regular horse, but can't be with her because of a family feud. That would still be a better love story than Twilight.

Dredd (Sept. 21)
Despite the cheese filled dialog of the trailer, I actually want to see this. I know it's a reboot and I usually go all Sons of Scotland on reboots, but I won't lie to you. I will probably wait for Netflix, but it looks entertaining enough, especially it you've seen the original.

House at the End of the Street (Sept. 21)
DON'T GO IN THE BASEMENT! Jennifer Lawrence, you 've survived the Hunger Games and are then stupid enough to get yourself caught in a horror movie and what's the first thing you want to do? You walk to the house at end of the street and go into the basement. I'm not even sorry for you. If you like horror movies, go see it. For everyone else who already knows the ending based on the minute long trailer, move along, nothing to see here.

Taken 2 (Oct. 5)
Liam Neeson is going to find you and kick your ass because he is a Jedi, and an Immortal Batman villain, and the captain of a battleship, and in love, actually... If I say I did not see Taken, will you kick me out of my own blog? I have heard it's good, but never got around to trying it out myself. That said, I can't help but notice how similar this sequel looks to the trailer for the original. I figure I will catch up with both of them on Netfilx before the third one (where they take his dog) comes out.

Cloud Atlas (Oct. 26)
So no one has heard of this. I think it looks interesting. It sure has a lot of stars in it. That doesn't make it good, but I guess it counts for something. If it even comes to theaters here in BFE, then I may convince The Wife to see it. If not, then on to post theatrical release it is!

Wreck-It-Ralph (Nov. 2)
I am genuinely excited for this movie! Classic characters from video games and John C. Reilly? Take my money!

Skyfall (Nov. 9)
Mr. Bond is back to be bruteing and stuff. I saw and liked Casino Royal. I did not see the second one with the confusing name, no matter how many times the Wife may claim I did. Do I really need to see it? No. Will I see Skyfall? No.

Lincoln (Nov. 9)
Let's see if old Spielberg still has what it takes to sneak up behind us and blow our brains out with an awesome movie! I'll tell you one thing, Daniel Day Lewis sure looks like our 16th president. I am moderately excited for this. I'm sure it's already on the Oscar watch list just because of the director and lead actor, but it could still be a bad movie.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (Nov. 16)
It's finally over! Ring the bells, call the choir! Open the most expensive wine and get ready. It is finally over! At long last we have but one more Twilight movie to suffer through! But seriously, you would have to break my legs, arms and pelvic bone; cut off my eye lids, remove my voice box, plug my fart hole, shave me all over, tie me to an electric chair and force bath salts down my throat for me to sit quietly and watch this underwear stain of a movie. If movies were a person; this would be the two week old dingle-berry hanging from the taint hair of that person.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Third Annual Mothman 5k

Shameless self promotion to follow...

Everyone, did you know the Wife and I put on a world class 5k road race every year? Amazing, but true. The Third Annual Mothman 5k run/walk will be commencing at 8:30 a.m. on September 15, 2012 in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. The run is in coordination with the Eleventh Annual Mothman Festival. You can pre-register for the race by going to this link, downloading the form and sending it in. Pre-registration costs $15 and ends on September 8! You can also show up the day of the race and sign up. Race day registration (or check in and pick up for those pre-registered) begins at 7 a.m. and ends at 8:15 a.m. The cost on race day is $20. The first 50 participants receive a Mothman 5k T-Shirt. All participants receive a goody bag. Optional hugs will also be on hand. Prizes will be given out for the overall Male and Female winners as well as age group winners. For more and up to date details, like Mothman5K on Facebook and follow on Twitter @mothman5k.

The race route travels through historic downtown Point Pleasant. Starting at the beautiful Tu-Endie-Wei State Park, the race travels up Main Street, past the Mothman Statue and Festival area, before turning right onto Ohio Street and then right onto Kanawha Street. A left hand turn puts you on a quick loop around the block near Harmon Park (Camden Ave. to Madison Ave. to Poplar St.) before returning you to Kanawha Street and heading back downtown the way you came. From there the course returns to Ohio Street and then finally back to Main Street. The finish line runs parallel to the iconic Mothman Statue in the heart of the Festival area.

As a former runner I can tell you this course is a lot of fun. Okay, we designed it too, so I'm biased. It is very flat save for a slight incline on Camden Ave. Except for a hundred meters or so of historic brick streets at the start, the course is all asphalt and well kept roads. The route will be well marked with signs, bright neon paint marks with a the pace car from the Point Pleasant Police Department. However, the roads are not closed to traffic during the race, so we do encourage participants to be aware. The course also crosses train tracks. No trains are scheduled at the time of the race, but we do ask participants to be advised and watch your ankles!

The start line at Tu-Endie-Wei State Park has a gorgeous view of the confluence of the Kanawha and Ohio Rivers. The Park itself has many interesting historical markers including The Point Pleasant Battle Monument, erected on October 10, 1909 as a tribute to a battle fought on the same date in 1774. The Park also has The Mansion House Museum, originally a tavern built in 1796, now a historic house museum. Very close to the start line is the Point Pleasant River Museum. The meat of the race takes you through historic downtown Point Pleasant, past the Mothman Statue and the Silver Bridge Memorial. Once the race is over we encourage all participants to stick around for the festival and explore the town of Point Pleasant.

Here is a map! To trick Google Maps I had to use a few extra Destination points (C and E). The start is Point A. Point B is the One Mile mark. Point D is the Two Mile mark. Point F is the finish line!

View Larger Map

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Post Theatrical Release

While reviewing The Campaign on Monday, I found myself in a conundrum. I instructed people to "otherwise wait for the video release." In editing, The Wife changed the word "video" to "DVD" because she thinks the term video is too dated. Then I thought, isn't the term DVD dated?

But I don't want to call these Blu-ray either, that sounds like I am supporting Sony over all other formats. Nor do I want to list every platform the film could possibly be ported to. Think about all the ways you can buy or rent movies these days: DVD, Blu-ray, iTunes, Netflix, Redbox, Fancy Tom the bootlegging hobo out behind Wal-Mart, Hulu, Amazon; hell, I bet you can still get VHS copies somewhere. The list goes on. I'm sure someone is working on a new super High Definition format to replace Blu-ray that will beam the image directly into our eyes, melting our corneas.

I used the term video, because I knew that everyone would understand what I meant. I did not originally use DVD, because that is very specific to a DVD disc. It never occurred to me that people would instantly associate video with VHS, but the first person to read the term sure did. So what can I call them? Someone please help me! I hate brand association. I want a term for a movie that was in theaters and is now in a format that allows you to buy or rent a copy. The list below are a few of my own suggestions. What are yours?

PTR - Post Theatrical Release Copy (Bleck!!! That's boring. Also, thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey, The Wife giggles everytime I use the word "release")
VIWHUTYKUWT - Version I will have to update in two years to keep up with technology (a little wordy)
SSE - Small Screen Edition (sounds fancy!)
Rental (simple but only works for Netflix, Redbox and the others, not so much for if you buy it)

Monday, August 13, 2012

Review: The Campaign

The Wife: With two new movies coming out, The Campaign and The Bourne Legacy, we had to pick one to see first. Well, for those of you that actually know me, you know that there was really no contest. While I enjoy the Bourne series, Will Ferrell movies will always win out! Plus a Bourne movie without Matt Damon can wait another week.

I carry a biased opinion somewhat because as mentioned above, I love Will Ferrell movies. Pairing him with The Hangover’s Zach Galifianakis seemed like a recipe of pure, comedic gold for me, so The Campaign = a win-win situation. Not to mention a movie that mocks both sides of the political spectrum was the perfect medicine after weeks of reading useless, pointless, annoying Facebook arguments regarding the upcoming Presidential election. Well, The Campaign was exactly what I hoped and expected it to be: a couple hours of sheer stupidity and hilarious comedy. Ferrell was at his best, as usual, and Galifianakis simply added to the hilarity. Also, the brief appearance from Jason Sudeikis, who play’s Ferrell’s character’s campaign advisor, was notable as well.

The name of the movie is pretty self-explanatory as the movie centers on the election of Democrat Incumbent Cam Brady (Ferrell) and Republican new-comer and challenger, Marty Huggins (Galifianakis). Of course, the two engage in entertaining debates filled with stupid rhetoric as well as take part in ridiculous campaign mudslinging. Much of these things pokes fun at our current political debates/issues, which at times was scary since so much of what was on screen actually does happen in some (less funny, of course), way. There is a moral of the story at some point as the movie does have a semi-plot, but come one folks, a plot and moral is not why we watch Will Ferrell movies. And if you do watch his movies seeking these things then you really need to re-think your life.

Overall, The Campaign was simply put (as I’ve said way too many times in this review) hilarious. Fortunately, not all funny parts were shown in the previews, which sadly happens with many comedies. I enjoyed that this movie mocked politics as well as poked fun at “both sides” of the political spectrum. Sometimes you just need to laugh and you need a stupid movie, where you don’t have to use too much brain power. Frankly, for those of you who are on the anti-funny movie train, please grow a sense of humor. Not everything you see needs to be Oscar-worthy. If you are one of those types, I truly feel sorry for you. Lighten up! If you are as jaded with politics as I am and love Will Ferrell movies, then by all means head to the theatre for this one. However, if you enjoy funny movies but want to save your money, then this would be ok to wait for Netflix too as it really isn’t anything new from Ferrell (which is fine by me).

Hobo Dan: If you have seen any Will Ferrell movie ever made, you have a good idea what to expect from The Campaign. He is the quintessential dumb, slap stick, bumbling fool everyone loves to laugh at. Every movie he is in turns into this. Pay no attention to any of the other actors in the film; Will is here to be Will. I thought Zach Galifianakis could overcome this effect. I was wrong. Zach is totally over shadowed by the dumbness of Will Ferrell in this movie. I usually get a good laugh or two from Galifianakis and his subtle facial expressions, but he seemed totally lost in The Campaign. Lost, or in awe of just how dumb Will Ferrell really can be.

Don’t get me wrong, this movie had some really funny parts. I laughed. But nothing took me rolling into the aisles, giggling wildly as slurpee spews from my nostrils. I don’t know if Ferrell and company have lost a step, or just keep repeating the same old antics to the point that I am now immune to that form of idiocy. I suspect the latter. I never thought this could be true, but maybe I can only laugh at a full grown man acting like a retarded twelve year old so many times. Please understand, this kind of comedy has its place. I loved Anchorman and Talladega Nights. Step Brothers is the underrated king of the Will Ferrell genre in my opinion. I just think at this point in my life (and after the endless string of movies like this), I am ready for something a little more clever than crass. If you still hold a special place in your heart for Will Ferrell, then go see this, otherwise wait for the DVD release.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Ten Shark Movies!

In honor of Shark Week 2012, The Wife asked that I put together a comprehensive list of the ten greatest shark movies of all time. I went into my troll cave and made this list instead. The following shark movies may (and in many cases may not) be any good at all...

Number 10: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
I have not seen this movie. I searched for Shark movies to research this post. As soon as I saw the title of this film, I knew it had to be included. I never plan to see this movie nor watch the trailer, or even read a plot synopsis. No, I think all I need to know is in the title: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. That about sums it up. Sure, never judge a book by its cover, but I seriously doubt this is really a commentary on current race relations in the United States or a savy political drama about money, power, corruption and George Clooney. I'm pretty sure its about a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus who get into a fight over some poorly written plot points.

Number 9: Shark Night 3D
Here is the IMDB description of this movie: "A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to shark attacks." Umm... So... don't get in the water? The IMDB entry goes on to read "They soon come to the realization that 15 species of sharks are lurking in the water, and with no form of boat or transportation, and no signals for phone's, the group of seven now face a fate they would never imagine." No, stop it. Really? Did anyone see this movie. Why?

Number 8: Blood Surf
I have a feeling that this is a bad movie. Want proof?


Number 7: Any Given Sunday
The gripping tale of the Miami Sharks professional football team as it struggles with injuries and egos must rank among the great shark films ever made because it's my list and I say so. Plus it has Al Pacino, who looks like a man shaped shark...

Number 6: Raging Shark
The plot of Raging Shark: Doctor Mike Olsen returns from his oceanic observation station, where his wife Linda feels in charge, when it's reported in desperate trouble after a sudden shark attack wrecked the oxygen supply. The accompanying ship and even the coast guard are also attacked, and soon other sites in and around the Bermuda triangle, where a few years earlier an alien space-ship crashed, which now seeps a mysterious organic crystal. The US Navy sends a submarine, which also carries bureaucrat Ben Stiles, who berates safety and other violations aboard. More dangers lurk inside as getting out proves physically daunting. It made the six spot just for that.

Number 5: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Stay with me here. During the second task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, the competitor for Durmstrang, Victor Krum, morphs himself into a shark to recover something the merpeople have taken into the Black Lake. Shark movie.

Number 4: Jaws 2
Not really a bad movie. It couldn't possibly live up to the original, but still not a bad movie.

Number 3: Shark Tale
Okay so this is actually a pretty good movie, even if it is reactionary a Finding Nemo rip off. Ever notice the rule of two in movies? When Volcano came out, so did Dante's Peak. Armageddon, Deep Impact. It goes on and on. Generally one is considered good and the other repetitive rubbish. Well Shark Tale is actually pretty entertaining as kid movies go.

Number 2:  Deep Blue Sea
"They ate me! A mother f***ing shark ATE ME!"

Number 1: Jaws
Seriously, there is no better shark movie. Despite giving sharks a very negative stereotype that persists even today, Jaws is one great movie. It is without question the greatest shark movie ever made and must be at least in the top 100 films of all time. Now excuse me, I have to go follow The Wife around as she shops for clothes; should I  hum the Jaws soundtrack as I mindlessly stalk the isles?

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Shark Week 2012

Raw Power
The Wife: After months, weeks and days of anticipation, the greatest week of television EVER is almost here! That’s right Dump readers, SHARK WEEK 2012 will begin at 9 p.m. this Sunday! The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week lineup looks epically JAWSOME as it will celebrate its 25th year of television greatness!

To quote one of my favorite comedies, “Step Brothers,” Shark Week is simply “raw power.” What’s not to love about this amazing television event? Sharks have mystified humans for years. They are fascinating creatures, specifically the great whites. Anytime I hear about a shark attack, it’s like a train wreck and I can’t stop reading or watching coverage. As inaccurate as it may be of shark behavior, “Jaws” continues to be one of my favorite movies. I even enjoy awesomely bad shark movies, like “ Deep Blue Sea ”…“A shark ate me!” – Samuel L. Jackson Voice. Sharks do get a bad rep, sadly. I am sure they would prefer a seal to human flesh, which probably tastes gross. With Shark Week, we get a glimpse into how sharks really live.

Biting into this year’s Shark Week lineup and kicking off the glorious event will be “Air Jaws Apocalypse” at 9 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 12. Air Jaws Apocalypse will pick up right where 2011’s “Ultimate Air Jaws” left off. As Ultimate Air Jaws was one of last year’s best Shark Week features, I have high expectations for Air Jaws Apocalypse, and look forward to seeing more great white shark jawsomeness! Following Air Jaws Apocalypse will be “Shark Week’s Impossible Shots,” where a team of wildlife cameramen will head to South Africa to try to secure a rare shot of a great white. If they succeed, I am sure all Shark Week enthusiasts will want the image for their computer screen savers!

Shark Week action will continue on Monday evening with “Sharkzilla” (9 p.m.). Just the name “Sharkzilla” leads me to believe that this will be epic. The special is geared to celebrate this year’s 25th anniversary of Shark Week. Throughout the special the Discovery Channel will attempt to resurrect the largest shark known to ever swim in our oceans, the Megalodon. Supposedly this shark could have ruffed up even the likes of a T-Rex, according to the Discovery Channel’s website! Starring in this special will be some of the Mythbusters team! So don’t miss the awesomely named special, Sharkzilla! If you are a Mythbusters fan, you won’t want to miss the “Mythbusters’ Jawsome Shark Special,” set to air at 10 p.m. following Sharkzilla. On Tuesday, all of you “Jaws” fans like me must tune in for “How Jaws Changed the World” (9 p.m.)

Other specials that I look forward to with this year’s Shark Week include “ Great White Highway ” (9 p.m., Thursday) and “Shark Week’s 25 Best Bites” (10 p.m., Thursday). This year’s jawsome lineup also includes: “Adrift: 47 Days With Shark” (10 p.m., Tuesday) and “Shark Fight” (9 p.m. Wednesday). A full schedule and description of shows is available at the Discovery Channel's Shark Week Page: Shark Week 2012.

So be sure to not miss this jawsome-winning event! If you are a fellow lover of Shark Week, tell us why you enjoy this television event so much! Also, make sure to check Dump on Saturday for a special post where Hobo Dan will countdown his favorite shark-themed movies!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Review: Total Recall

Hobo Dan: Well, shockingly, Total Recall, the remake (or reboot, what are we calling this?) of a terrible 90's science fiction movie was, terrible. Okay it wasn't Abduction or Twilight terrible, but thinking about it has given me an ulcer. I go on and on about the lack of originality in movies these days. Then the opening credits to this film roll and I see it is made by Original Films! Ha! The irony of a remake being produced by a company called Original Films isn't lost on me Hollywood . Further more, did anyone really like the original 1990 Total Recall that much? Did it really warrant a remake? Or is it just fun to spend millions of dollars to make steaming piles of crap and sell it to movie goers at extorted prices?

What can I say, the story was dumb and all over the place, but if you've seen the original you knew that. The acting was dumb and all over the place, but if you've seen the original you knew that. The graphics were sufficiently believable at putting you in a dystopian future, but I was left wanting more. Every time we saw big scene of sprawling city, I wanted it to pan out just a little more and really show me something, but it never did. I guess the cash to generate the extra pixels required came up short. I was left feeling like this world just wasn't real. Multiple levels have been built above London , but how were they just floating there? What holds all this up? Then they have a train line that runs through the center of the earth and takes you to the colony ( Australia ). I know it's science fiction, but I am to believe that after the world was poisoned, nuked and blasted to hell, the two remaining habitable places (England and Australia) had the resources to bore a tunnel through the earth (including the core which is just absurd in its own rights) and run a regular on time train? Ha, the train being on time is laughable.

I am being mean? There were some good parts. For instance... nope can't do it. Don't see this movie, it is bad. The action is boring. The acting is not good. The story is bad, but not bad enough to be funny (which has saved movies in the past). It's just bad. Go see The Dark Knight Rises again. Or rent the original, at least it had Arnold Schwarzenegger in it to laugh at...

The Wife: Well, I thought I enjoyed Total Recall far less than Hobo Dan, but judging from his scathing review above, maybe that isn’t so. First off, I’ve never seen the original Total Recall. So, if you are looking for a comparison from me you are out of luck. Despite not seeing the original, I thought this re-boot of Total Recall looked mildly entertaining. That coupled with my enjoyment of going to the movie theatre led me to see this film. Oh and I suppose Colin Farrell was a contributing factor. Eye candy!

Well, just as I expected, Total Recall was in fact, mildly entertaining at best. I was never really bored during the movie, but I certainly wasn’t blown away. I obviously didn’t expect it to even come close to the same realm of awesomeness that is The Dark Knight Rises, but I would have preferred to see it again as opposed to Total Recall. If you enjoy a sci-fi flick with a bit of cheese on the side mixed in with lots of mediocre but “cool looking” action sequences, then this may be the film for you. As someone who hates films that simply rely on action to carry a plot, Total Recall really wasn’t my cup of tea. Action aside, the plot was all over the place and there appeared to be a few plot holes left unanswered or at least, not logically explained, however that’s to be expected with the premise of a film like Total Recall. I didn’t find it confusing, but I was annoyed. Some elements did catch me by surprise but I still feel like certain plot point actions weren’t properly explained or the least bit believable. Then again, is Total Recall a film that is meant to be realistic? Absolutely not, so I can deal with the expected plot holes. Another irritation was the fact that despite all the non-stop running around/dodging fires/bullets etc., Kate Beckinsale’s character’s hair never once looked messed up and her curls continued to look perfectly done. Her makeup was perfect and she only appeared slightly sweaty once. This sets up poor expectations for the idiot male viewer who thinks all women must look like that in those situations. Kate Beckinsale is beautiful, but in real life her curls would at least appear a bit messy and her makeup smudged if she was running around that much. That’s a fail for you, hair/makeup department. At least they made Jessica Biel’s character look ragged and run-down to show how much “running around/bullet dodging/etc. she did.

Acting-wise, despite Farrell’s charming good looks, he didn’t really impress or disappoint. He was just kind of…there. While I am sure most men enjoyed watching Biel and Beckinsale run around, their acting was mediocre at best. Especially, Biel , who just came off as blah and appeared to seem like she was only doing the movie for a paycheck. I’ve seen all three of these actors do better in other roles so who knows why they came off as so “blah” in Total Recall? Perhaps a bad script? Boredom?

In closing, Total Recall wasn’t awful and as I said above, it was mildly entertaining. Despite the mildly entertaining aspect, I am placing Total Recall as the worst movie I’ve seen in 2012. I find it funny that I saw the best movie of 2012 (Dark Knight Rises) only a couple weeks before (and no, that didn’t affect my judgment whatsoever). Unless you enjoy this type of action jumbled/cheesy film or were a fan of the original, I’d consider waiting to Netflix this one.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

London 2012 Summer Olympics

The Wife: Well as of today we are about one week into the London 2012 Summer Olympics! We originally intended this post to publish last week to serve as a kick-off to the games, but as they say, life happens, and we too, got caught up in the impending Olympics excitement!

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved the Olympics, specifically the summer games. In a world where things are far from perfect and countries are often at odds, it is a beautiful thing that we can still have an event that brings people together from all nations to celebrate our gifted athletes. Not to mention, the Olympics is a chance for non-mainstream sports to shine. The Olympics have provided me with so many great memories. I will never forget the man with the golden shoes, the incredible Michael Johnson, dominate the 200m and 400m in track at the Atlanta ’96 games. I also will never forget the Magnificent Seven of the ’96 games! Watching Keri Strug land on one leg after her vault to seal Team USA ’s victory is just one of those epic sports moments that will live on forever. More recently, how could I forget the dominance of swimmer, Michael Phelps? Seeing him specifically dominate in Beijing ‘08 solidified him as one of the best athletes of all time. Even though his time in London hasn’t been quite as magical, with these games Phelps has already achieved the status of the most decorated Olympian of all time and will certainly go down in history as one of the greats.

While I enjoy the winter games for figure skating and the occasional round of curling (hey, curling CAN be entertaining), the Summer Olympics are by far my favorite. Nearly all of the events are entertaining, and the summer games feature my two favorite events, Track and Field and Gymnastics! I also really enjoy the Marathon , Swimming, Diving, Archery, Beach Volleyball and Cycling. The list could go on and on as I try to catch as much Olympic coverage as possible! However, it is my first mentioned favorite, Track and Field, that means the most to me. As a former collegiate track and field athlete, I love seeing MY SPORT shine on television every four years. Track is typically one of the sports that no one cares about, with the exception of those of us in the running community. Therefore, I love seeing it take center stage at the Olympics! I ran track for 14 years, starting as a wee little third grader, and the sport will always be a part of me and dear to me. Although I run primarily for fitness now and have hung up my competitive shoes, I still keep up with the sport and love watching track and field events. Even if I watch track on television, I still get those familiar butterflies in my stomach when the runners toe the line to begin. The Olympics have provided us with so many phenomenal moments in the sport of Track and Field, including 2008’s emergence and dominance of Jamaica ’s Usain Bolt. Man, can that guy fly! While I am all for TEAM USA , I can’t wait to see what Bolt does in London ! I also hope to see our Men’s and Women’s 4x1 teams reclaim gold! I can’t forget Bernard Lagat either, and I really hope he has a good showing at these games. While sprinters are at the forefront of the games, as a former mid-distance and distance track girl, I can’t wait to see the longer events unfold, including the 10,000! It should definitely be an exciting Olympics for Track and Field, and I hope to see many records broken this year!

Already we have had a fabulous 2012 Summer Olympics. This year’s Opening Ceremonies alone were beautiful. The torch lighting was the best I’ve ever seen and really signified the true meaning of the games. So far Team USA has performed great as well. I’ve already been brought to tears seeing our Women’s Gymnastics Team get the gold, as I’ve waited for Team USA to win since the Magnificent Seven in ’96. It was also emotional seeing Phelps finally break the record and become the most decorated Olympian of all time. As Track and Field and many other events are still to come, I am sure we are in for a treat with these summer games!

If you love the Olympics, feel free to share some of your favorite Olympics moments. GO TEAM USA !!!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Best Picture Project 12, Annie Hall

Best Picture Project is back! I know we have been slacking big time on this project. We promise to get down to it. It sure is hard to type with my fingers crossed...

Annie Hall, 1977

The Wife: I initially was slightly concerned that Annie Hall would be too dated to have the comedic appeal it carried during its 1970s release. However, all of these concerns were erased within the first few minutes of the film. Woody Allen really is the movie genius that he is labeled to be. Even in 2012, Annie Hall was still a hilarious, fun and insightful film to watch.

The movie, which stars Allen, as well as one of my favorite actresses, Diane Keaton, is set in New York City. Annie Hall centers around the characters of Alvy Singer (Allen) and Annie (Keaton). It focuses on the journey of the pair’s relationship, and through great acting and comedic elements, outlines the up’s and down’s that the two encounter. There is emotion within the film, but it is nicely balanced with laughter and to an extent, sarcasm. Both characters have their flaws and “big personalities,” which all contribute to the scope of their relationship. While the movie’s end might leave a sour taste in some people’s mouths, it really worked for Annie Hall. My hopeless romantic side was left with an “aawww bummer” feeling but my realism side was left feeling satisfied with the film’s conclusion.

Annie Hall is probably one of the few if only “romantic comedies” to win Best Picture. This is probably due to the film’s unconventional ending as well as Allen’s creativity, which works to separate it and puts it miles above traditional romantic comedies in terms of quality. As a fashion lover, I can’t go without commenting on Keaton’s wardrobe for the film. The men’s ties and hats really did inspire a new style during the 70s. My mother even told me that she remembered many women trying to emulate Keaton’s Annie Hall style. You know a film leaves a dent in pop culture phenomenon when it spurs fashion trends! Overall, I would say that Annie Hall was certainly deserving of its Best Picture title. If you haven’t seen this wonderful, timeless film, then make time to do so!

Hobo Dan: I never know what to expect from these older films. Annie Hall was thankfully anything but an older film. It could have very well came out today and been just as entertaining. Actually, it is far more entertaining than a majority of romantic comedies these days. I generally dislike the genre all together because they are all the same. Guy and girl meet, have a good time and fall in love; conflict is then introduced followed by reconciliation. Rinse and repeat. Annie Hall is not the same. It isn't necessarily about the guy and the girl as it is about their impacts on each others lives. I'd put it right up there with When Harry met Sally as the best in the category (yes, I know that one kinda follows the aforementioned genre formula I profess to hate, sue me it's my blog).

This is actually my first Woody Allen film. I enjoyed it, probably because I live for sarcasm. The writing is smart and the acting is good. I get the feeling Woody Allen plays himself, but that's okay because himself is pretty entertaining.

Now, I do have to mention one of the other films nominated in 1977, the year Annie Hall won. A small indy film called Star Wars. Incidentally it is one of my favorite movies of all time; the original, I am not talking about the trilogy, or the prequels, or any subsequent special editions, cartoons, holidays specials or 3D re-releases. They are vastly different films, obviously. The original Star Wars changed film making forever. No one had ever seen anything like it in 1977. That said, I will not refute Annie Hall's claim to the Oscar. It is a wonderful film.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Review: Cards Against Humanity

The box, cards inside and instructions
If you are easily offended, cannot laugh at yourself, or have a weak stomach, then Cards Against Humanity is not for you. For the rest of my friends who are truly horrible people, stay awhile and listen...

Cards Against Humanity is a darker take on the basic Apples to Apples formula. There are two types of cards; white and black. Black cards have a question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on them. White cards have nouns on them. Everyone draws ten white cards. Then one person draws a black card and reads it. Everyone else chooses a white card that they think best fits the black card and puts it face down in the pile. The person who drew the black card then reads the white ones and chooses his or her favorite. The winner gets the black card to keep score. Change who chooses the black card, rinse and repeat. Apparently the person at the end with the most black cards wins, but this game isn't really about winning. It about feeling absolutely horrible about the choices of white cards you've made. Oh, the choices...


Example of a Black Card
Example of a White Card
The cards themselves are very high quality and cost around $25 on Amazon. They come in a very nice box with a minimal instruction manual (the rules are not hard). You can also download all the cards from the website for free to print yourself. While this is a great option, I recommend buying the cards. First, the purchased cards are great and durable, plus who wants to print out all the cards and cut them out yourself? Second, and most importantly, buying the cards supports the game maker. Please support small game makers! And you're local comic shop! Down with Big Brother!!!


Chuck Norris, obviously!
The pictured cards are mild examples
The game is all about the people you play it with. The simplicity of Cards Against Humanity is that the game gets it out of the way so you can enjoy the company of the terrible people you are with. That is really what all games of this kind are about. I'm not going to get too philosophical when talking about a game that allows you do some many unspeakable things, but face to face games are important in this day in age where we are more likely to talk to our friends via Text, Facebook and the Twitter than physically to them.

Cards Against Humanity has been out for over a year, but hey it's new to us! Won't you come over and play?



Monday, July 16, 2012

Review: Ice Age: Continental Drift

Hobo Dan: I wasn't really looking forward to Ice Age: Continental Drift. It's not that I don't like the Ice Age movies because I really do (the first two, I did not see the third installment with dinosaurs) I've just had my fill of computer generated kids movies for the year (Brave), and am now in full anticipation mode for The Dark Knight Rises this Friday. That said, I really enjoyed this movie. It was everything you want in a summer movie for kids and had plenty of comedy for us adults as well. I was able to pick right up on the story without needing to have seen the last one.

The film itself is computer generated and looks great; not as good as Brave, but still great. The voice work is top notch and surprisingly full of stars. The Wife and I spent the entire movie trying to figure out who the voice of the villain was. We knew we'd heard it before and had that "duh" moment when the credits rolled (Peter Dinklage). The story was entertaining and full of fun moments. There is no reason to take it that seriously or get technical. It was just fun, that's the point. If you have kids, or still have a kid in you (not that any of you eat kids), go see this new Ice Age. It is great fun and I am going to say this and get flamed for it, but this movie had more noticeable 3D effects than all other 3D movies I have seen this year combined. Not a selling point for me, but at least I don't feel so ripped off for paying three extra dollars for a 3D ticket (had no other choice).

Also, the squirrel that make small appearances in all the films has his day, it is so gloriously funny...

The Wife: I love movies. Movies that appeal to the “elitist” crowd, hilariously dumb movies, romantic comedies and yes, even so-called children’s movies. I try to approach movies without judgment and enjoy them for what they are. People who think every single movie that they see must be “Oscar Worthy” really need to get over themselves. If you are one of those types, then you probably would never give the latest Ice Age sequel the time of day. And for that, I feel sorry for you, because once again Ice Age didn’t fail to entertain and keep me laughing!

Ice Age: Continental Drift is the fourth installment of the Ice Age franchise. Let me start by saying that I love the Ice Age movies, so perhaps this review could carry a shred of biased thought. The first Ice Age, of course, is the best one. The sequels, however, haven’t been bad. They have all been entertaining and made me laugh like a kid again. I like the Ice Age series because while they are geared for children, they contain many jokes and are funny enough to appeal to adults. I was slightly concerned that this particular Ice Age film may have lost its edge due to being a fourth sequel. This seemed to have happened to the Shrek franchise, which started great and then got a bit stale by the third movie (don’t get me wrong I still like all of the Shrek movies). However, Ice Age: Continental Drift held up nicely with it’s predecessors, and Hobo Dan and I both had a great time at the theatre watching it.

Visually, this movie looked great. It didn’t compare to Brave looks-wise, but let’s face it; Pixar is tough to compete with. Ice Age: Continental Drift was a perfect summer blockbuster for children, and one that parents, or adults like us, could enjoy as well. It delivered laughs and once again, the plot involving the hilarious trio of sloth, Sid, saber, Diego, and woolly mammoth, Manny, was hilarious. The squirrel from Ice Age nearly stole the show in his never-ending search of his beloved acorn. While I wouldn’t deem this latest installment of Ice Age to be Oscar worthy in the animated category, it was still a great movie and one that families will enjoy. Brave, of course, is the better of the two “kids” movies, but like I said above, Disney-Pixar is just hard to compete with. I should also mention that you get a fabulous Simpsons short prior to the movie, and I think we enjoyed that as much as Ice Age: Continental Drift, if not more. That was almost worth the movie ticket cost alone!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Zoo and Baseball

Rhino!
Last week’s 4th of July holiday served as a five-day weekend for us. With our power back (see Meltdown 2012 for an explanation) we basked in the glory of electricity and enjoyed a mini-vacation of sorts. Zoo, baseball, relaxation, and of course, beautiful air conditioning, made for an enjoyable time!

The Wife: On the 5th, we headed to the Columbus Zoo! Our annual zoo trip has become a summer tradition for us. Unlike last year, Google Directions didn’t cause a rage fest to occur and we made it to the zoo in perfect time without getting lost in the greater Columbus area. Boom! This may have been the hottest it’s ever been at the zoo as temperatures peaked over 100 that afternoon. Thanks Global Warming or Manbear Pig!? I am waiting for Al Gore to rescue us by taking this summer heat wave down to a breezy 75 degrees.

Complaining aside, the heat really didn’t bother us, and the day went swimmingly. Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! We got excellent views of some animals we never see and I was able to get some fantastic pictures. Other than witnessing a giant brown bear stare me down through the glass as he took a massive poop and seeing the male elephant try to mount the female elephant multiple times, the animals were great! I appreciate Jack Hanna’s work at the Columbus Zoo to make it different from run-of-the-mill zoos. The animals at the Columbus Zoo thrive in a more natural habitat setting and the zoo has taken efforts to protect endangered species. They deserve kudos!

Hobo Dan: Melvin the elephant steps up to the plate and takes a few practice swings. The crowd roars in excitement, and because they are all lions. A few nervous Zebras in the upper deck whisper about steroids use and the Hall of Fame. Melvin ignores it all, he is in the zone. The pitcher, a tall orangutan named Muffins checks first base and waits for the signal from his catcher. Fast ball, down the middle is the call. Muffins winds up and lets it fly. Melvin tenses and then swings... What, huh? Sorry, I took one look at the name of the post and started writing.

This has been a seriously hot week! I think it went to my head. What better way to cure the heat illness? Go walk around outside at the zoo! The animals had the right idea. "Lets sleep in the shade." If aliens do visit this planet, what are the chances they see us as the most intelligent species? We are always out running around in inclement weather (sun bathing, skiing), attempting stupid stunts (sky diving, ramping anything off of anything, every event at the Winter Olympics) and generally engaging in meaningless, unfulfilling activities (Facebook, waiting in line, E!, video games, blogging). These animals have it right. If it's hot, sleep. If it's cold, go inside a cave and sleep. Hungry? Caribou anyone?

Inside PNC Park: Pittsburgh, PA. Go Buccos!
An even better cure for the heat sickness is sitting in direct sunlight for three hours straight watching guys play with their balls and sticks. Yay, homoexrotic baseball jokes! Seriously though, despite the power outage at the beginning of the week and the extreme heat, it was truly good to have some time off spent with the Wife. I love all the things we do together and am thankful we have the ability to do them. The only way the weekend could have been any better is if those two elephants at the zoo had gone at it so we could have filmed it to post up here. Don't pretend you wouldn't have watched...

The Wife: Friday and Saturday served as “staycation” days, although we did manage to drag ourselves out of the house once to see The Amazing Spider-Man! Sunday we enjoyed America ’s favorite past time as we ventured to PNC Park, home of the Pittsburgh Pirates, for a baseball game. PNC Park is absolutely gorgeous and is known to be one of the most attractive ball parks. Other than the scorching heat, it too, was a great day as the Pirates smashed the San Francisco Giants winning 13-2! Us Pirates fans have had a rough 19 years, so it’s been great to see this team doing well, and being there to witness such a great win was awesome. Go Buccos!

Below our some pictures from our travels:

Snake ssssss! Attempted Parseltongue and it posed. Lol Harry Potter FTW!

Gorillas are so cool

Adorable baby gorilla


Blog Note: As you know we have been doing some updates to the blog. Most recently we updated the About Dump and Relay tabs at the top of the page. Check them out!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Review: The Amazing Spider-Man

This summer is another big one for super hero movies, so of course we had to review The Amazing Spider-Man for all you Dump readers!

The Wife: The Amazing Spider-Man is getting a really undeserved bad rep. Unfortunately this comes with rebooting a franchise so soon. Spider-Man 3 just came out in 2007; I mean, that's not even really that long ago! I am very set in my ways and Tobey Maguire will always be MY Spider-Man. However, with as much criticism and reservations as I had about The Amazing Spider-Man, I have to say it was a pretty good movie!

Was it blow your mind awesome? No. But it was ENTERTAINING! Even though I said Tobey is my Spidey, I think Andrew Garfield did a great job in the role. His interpretation is very different and I feel bad for comparing him to Tobey, but again, you will get those comparisons with a reboot so soon. Emma Stone was great as the character of Gwen Stacy, who I personally prefer to MJ. I don't dislike MJ, I am just more of a Gwen fan. Stone is so likable anyways and her performance made me enjoy the character even more.

While the plot did leave me very much with a "been there done that feel" due to so many similarities to Raimi's 2002 Spider-Man, I still really enjoyed The Amazing Spider-Man. It was very well paced with great action sequences. It had depth, despite some of the ooey gooey romance scenes between Gwen and Spidey (I mean seriously is all teenage love these days so angst filled?!). There were some moments where I felt ill from all the swinging Spider-Man effects, but some would call that a positive because you really did feel like you were in the movie. I, personally, could have done without all the first person view swing sequences though.

Overall, I would recommend The Amazing Spider-Man. If you are set in your ways and really liked Raimi's Spider-Man series, then you may have some issues. However, to a new generation, I can see this Spider-Man reboot carrying the same weight as its predecessor. Like I said, the biggest issue with this movie is that it came out too soon after the other series, and comparisons will be made, perhaps even unfairly. I am going to go out on a limb and say as a whole The Amazing Spider-Man may even be better than the 2002 version. To each his own though. Either way, if you see this, try to enjoy it for what it is and take joy in the fact that a new generation is getting their Spider-Man fix!

Hobo Dan: Haven't I seen this movie before? Yeah, in 2002 there was a Spider-Man movie. Tobey Maguire was in it, and so was Kirsten Dunst and Willem Dafoe and that stoner from Pineapple Express. I remember it like it was yesterday. Plot points? All the same. The only difference seems to be that the 2002 version is lacking the ever present 3D effects. Can I go back to 2002?

The Mildly Entertaining Spider-Man. I judged it from the moment I heard they were doing a reboot only ten years after the Toby Maguire version. So? I am working really hard to judge this on its own merits, but lets face it, ten years is NOT long enough to warrant a reboot. They MUST be compared. The Amazing Spider-Man is a pretty decent movie; despite the fact it suffers from Home Alone 2 syndrome. All the actors are good and the new Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) is surfactant although far more emo than nerd. The story is your basic run of the mill hero origin story. Again I will stress it is taken almost exactly from the 2002 Spider-Man, but then again most superhero have that single set origin story that is always present in ever iteration. This one seems just a little too similar to 2002 for my tastes. Then again all the tweens this is apparently marketed towards may have never even seen the old version. The action is nice and the effects are on par with the expectations the year 2012 provides.

So why can't I like this movie? Well first, I paid three extra dollars to see this in 3D and noticed a total three 3D effects. A dollar an effect is a pretty steep price if you ask me. Maybe this has less to do with the film and more to do with the industry as a whole, but seriously, is anyone enjoying this price gouging? The teaser trailer for Despicable Me 2 had more 3D in it! Then there is the action itself. While this Spider-Man made swinging through the streets of New York look a little more terrifying, it also about made me vomit. Insert standard complaint about shaky cam (you've heard them all from me before, I won't bore you further). Then a few times the camera panned to a first person perspective and decided to be Halo or Call of Duty. No. No, no, no! Stop that. It's not cute, it's not awesome. It's giving me a brain tumor.

Every time Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy (yes nerds, Gwen not Mary Jane, no biggie in my book) were in a scene together being all twilight (my new word of interpersonal relationships involving teenagers; you like?), I wanted to bite my own tongue to fill my mouth full of blood. If this is how teenagers act towards one another these days, I'm not having kids.

Deep breath. This is a good movie. It may even be better than the 2002 Spider-Man we all seem to hold so dear. However, it is lazy. Only ten years later and we are already redoing Spider-Man, the film that arguably kicked off the Comic Hero movie craz? What's next a Green Lantern reboot after only two years? Okay, that is probably needed...

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Review: Ted

During Meltdown 2012, we escaped to a theatre with power to see Ted. We hoped an idiotic comedy could temporarily let us forget all about our lack of electricity. So in a special saturday post for our Dump readers, here are our thoughts:

Hobo Dan: There were some truly funny moments in Ted. Then there were some truly dull moments. It's like Seth MacFarlane (director) had no idea what he wanted the movie to be. At moments it was Family Guy in live action. Then it tried to be serious. I don't tune into Family Guy for serious and I didn't go see this for it either. Up and down is how I'd describe it. The highs were pretty high and some very good laughs. The lows never got so bad it made me hate the movie, but they sure slowed it down. I kept waiting (anticipating) for the moment when the movie just went insane and never returned. It never came. It just predictably went on about its business.

Thankfully there were far more laughs in Ted than shown in the trailers. I hate it when movies, particularly comedies, give you everything in the two minute preview. All the actors did well, although I didn't buy Marky Mark (Mark Wahlburg) and Mila Kunis as a couple. The best part of the film for me was Patrick Stewart's fantastic narrations at the beginning and end of the film. Yes I do have a man crush on Captain Picard. Problem?

A totally serviceable comedy. Not the greatest ever made, but certainly not the worst. Unless you really like Seth MacFarlane, I'd wait for Netflix

The Wife: I went into Ted fully prepared and expecting to see a dumb, meaningless, unintelligent comedy. Well, mission accomplished, because that is exactly what I got! Ted was pretty funny. However, it is no where near the level of The Hangover funny, or even Horrible Bosses for that matter. Like Hobo Dan mentioned above, at times it felt like I was just watching Family Guy in live action format with a fuzzy bear. Even Ted (the bear), sounded a bit too much like Peter Griffin. However, this complaint was made up for when Ted actually said something like "I don't sound like Peter Griffin!" Well done, Seth MacFarlane. Well done.

As for the plot of the movie, it was what I figured it would be — absolutely ridiculous and silly. What else do you expect from a film that features a foul mouthed teddy bear? The dirty jokes, innuendos and other idiotic funny moments really worked. However, at times the plot became scattered and all over the place. Towards the end, the tone actually turns a little too serious for a movie of this nature. I found myself actually getting sad. I didn't come to see Ted for drama! Fortunately the "emotional" scenes quickly turned so the audience could get the expected happy, yet amazingly dumb and funny ending.

Acting wise, I think Ted featured a pretty good cast. That being said, the romantic chemistry between Mila Kunis's character, Lori, and Mark Wahlburg's character, John, wasn't really there. I love both of these actors and find them to be great in other roles, but they weren't believable as a couple. Anytime there was a kiss scene of some sort Wahlburg looked uncomfortable. Both Kunis and Wahlburg were good in their roles as their individual characters, but as a couple, not so much. Like Hobo Dan, I too, LOVED the beginning and end narration of Captain Picard. I may start a nerd war, but Star Trek: The Next Generation is the BEST! Ryan Reynolds also has a very short, but hilarious part in the film, which was probably one of my favorite scenes in Ted. Oh man, I love Ryan Reynolds!

Overall, Ted was funny. That being said, I'd save this one for Netflix.

Be sure to check back on Monday as we take on The Amazing Spider-Man in our Movie Monday post! Also, in case you are wondering, our electricity returned on Wednesday. Hallelujah!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Two Years Later...

The time has come to memorialize a faithful old companion. Last week, the Wife said goodbye to her first car. Such a melancholy thing is life. At every end, a beginning. At every goodbye, a hello. We lament today for old red, sure a... what am I saying? Good riddance you POS! Burn, burn, burn...

But the old red car has one last story to tell. First lets review the ways you've tormented me; it has been awhile my old nemesis. Check the links for the full posts.

From The Mouse: Posted 5/4/2010
I am not an eye witness to the mouse. I didn't see the mouse. I will try to describe the beast using the details I took from my wife's rambling. The rodent, almost mythological in proportions, reached a massive length of over ONE INCH! That would make its fangs almost half a millimeter long. The demon creature has it out for my wife; she fears it will escape the car and enter the house in the night to murder her in cold mouse blood (kind of like how Mickey Mouse likes to sneak into Marvel Studios at night and rape Spider Man). The rain was still beating down when my wife demanded we stop so she can evade the evil mouse's advances. We soon came the the small gas station on our road and stopped under the cover. The wife leaped from the car and began to ramble on and on about the rodent and her hatred. At one point I think she slipped into tongues. Maybe the rat used its ESP to invade her mind. After a furious search, I found no sign of the mouse; at all.
From The Bad Friday: Posted 5/14/2010
To my disdain, the car which that clever little rodent chose to inhabit broke down only days after his arrival. It just stopped. Well as you can imagine, upon hearing this news, my lovely, caring, compassionate and all knowing wife made her expert opinion be known. That little vermin must have been the reason for the car's sudden reluctance to start. I reassured her this was probably not the case. For a week the car was in the shop. The verdict? A blown fuse going into the starter, probably blown by some sort of short in the wiring. How ever did this short come about? The mechanic suggests that a mouse very well could have caused such damage.
So she drives off to work. I go home to revel in the glory of a day off. Later, I receive a text from the wife letting me know that the car smells of dead mouse. This news brightens the day further. At least it's dead; now I just have to solve that problem. Soon I sit down for some relaxing video games; peace. It's right then, that she calls me. We have just pissing-down-a-hair-clogged-drain bad cell phone service at our house. I cannot believe I was able to hear what she said. "Car won't start. I'm at Krodel park." I'm not even mad. For a moment I just stand there, bent in some funny angle striving for the optimum cell service of one bar. "Sure." That's the best I can manage before leaving to pick her up.
From A Loss for Words: Posted 5/24/2010
I have off tomorrow what should I do? Well shit kids that's a rhetorical question. Tomorrow I have to take my wife's taint of a car to Huntington to the dealership to get worked on because the little POS still won't run. If the TV I bought last Christmas needed as much maintenance as the cars we own, I would not stand for it. Did you ever think of that? Break it down, most of the stuff we buy needs much less maintenance than our cars. Hell, I guarantee my wife and I use our TV more hours a day than our cars. I'm sorry I don't have to change the oil in my TV, or check the @$%#ing tire pressure! Car companies are you listening? no...
On a side note, the TV I am referring to in this post is, as of Winter 2012, also broken...
From Holeless Pillow: Posted 5/26/2010
Oh, the suck I have endured. I bitch a lot about the wife's car, so I'll only say, it still sucks. Hard. We've spent money and time on it, we are frustrated. Things are out of hand. The house is a mess. Clothes, they aren't washed. We had to use the remainder of the Disney Princess paper plates from her birthday party to eat dinner. We have no food at the house; none. We DO have a giant tower of pizza boxes.

The truck I am using to drive while her car is being worked on? Its breaks went out on me today! THE BREAKS WENT OUT! You realize I was driving when this happened? WTF!!???!!? I could have seriously wrecked. I am not making this up.
From The Tire: Posted 9/29/2010
It is in this vehicle of death; a car that begins seizures like shakes at 55 mph, I decided to leave the safety of home and set out upon the open road.

I think most of you have probably figured out what's next. So, instead of boring you to death (I hope no one has died yet) the next portion of this tale will be over blown and exaggerated for thematic effect. I was just driving along, minding my own business when out of no where my front driver side tire explodes in a violent rage. Shrapnel is sent flying in every direction. I am sent swerving across the road. I hit the edge of the road and flip fifteen times down the highway before landing again. At this point I was still traveling at well over fifty miles an hour! The car careens left and right and only my nerves of steel and great strength are able the pull the car under control and bring it to a stop. For any one who is really worried about it, all that really happened was the tire when flat for no reason and I had to pull over.
It was shortly after this last post that the old red car stopped. One day it just said no more. For the past two years it has lingered in my yard. As much as I enjoy being a rural stereotype, it needed to go. So recently I made the calls required to have the vehicle taken away. Before this happy event could occur, I had to take one last tour through the haunted halls of the old mouse coffin. It must be purged of our personal items. Here is what I found:

A muffin pan.
Numerous boy band CDs.
A Coldplay CD.
A Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band CD.
A Credence Clearwater Revival CD.
Lynard Skynard's Greatest Hits.
A quick vac full of small pebbles?
Dead bugs.
$5.37
Two years worth of newspapers.
Two umbrellas.
A plastic Easter bucket.
A screw driver; flat head.
Two pins.
Trash, lots of trash.
And...

A large mouse nest, hidden under the trunk where you keep the spare tire. And under that nest? The Mouse. Dead, of course. The now ancient burial mount of the mythical beast finally discovered. Could this evil talisman sitting parked outside our home for the last two years be the cause of all the car troubles? Let me remind you the trouble has not been limited to the red car alone:

From Rage Quit: Posted 2/19/2011
I quit. Cars that is, I quit them. What two face backstabber came up with that industry? “Here I’ll sell you this vehicle for a ton of money but I’ll see you again real soon when you starting having problems with it.” Awesome. I’m going to buy some horses. I’ll ride everywhere I need to go. If something isn’t in reasonable range of me and my horse, then I don’t really need to go there. But knowing my luck the horse would break a leg and I’d have to shoot the damned thing and make some glue, or dog food. Even then, at least it would be useful to me unlike cars which break down and become the eye sore of rural lower class America. I might as well scatter a few plastic flamingos and half naked children around the yard and throw a barbecue. I’ll buy some Bud Light and wear a cut off denim t-shirt with a Dale Jr. hat and cook up some road kill steaks; skunk is in season. Odin help us all.

Around about ten minutes from our destination, we hit a large bump in the road. I thought nothing of it and we went on for a minute or so, when I realized the bump caused us to flat. We later went back to discover the hole was actually a branch of the Grand Canyon; how did I not see it? So since July we've dealt with three flats now. Actually, my wife and I are now past three years of marriage heading to four and we are averaging two flat tires per year of marriage. It was also very dark outside. Before I got out of the car, my wife asked if I knew how to change a tire and I almost lost it. She later clarified that she meant if I knew how to change the tire on the new car. I shook my head and told her to make me a sandwich. Then I threw that damned donut on the new car and we rolled out to the Olive Garden. I mean, we were already there, may as well eat.
I purged the car of all this junk and burnt the mouse carcase and nest as sacrifice to please the angered car gods. Oh Ford, father of thine cars, forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me of this mousy stank. Accept this gift of mouse piss soaked newspaper, seat foam cushion and other unrecognizable items. Take the body of this deceased creature and leave me be!

Remember the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie? (yes Michael Bay that is their FULL name!) Remember when they all sat around the fire and meditated and Splinter appeared to them and they knew he was alive and they will find him? I am at peace now. The soul of the mouse appeared to me and spoke comfort. My debt is paid, he goes now to a better place. Maybe a BMW or Lexus.