Saturday, July 30, 2011

Shark Week 2011!!!!!

The Wife has a very important public service announcement for you all.

The Wife: Well ladies and gentleman, we are one day away from the greatest week in television. That's right, 2011 Shark Week officially kicks off tomorrow on The Discovery Channel. It is sure to be a "jawsome" time! As they say in the movie Step Brothers, Shark Week is "raw power." I mean really, what's not to love about Shark Week? I have good vibes this year as Andy Samberg will be hosting this epic television event! I really hope he hosts "on a boat."

Why is Shark Week so amazing? I can't even really explain it. Sharks are creepy, fascinating creatures. Constant shows that talk about all things shark every day makes Shark Week worth it. I also am captivated by the specials that show the shark attacks over the past few years. I have a fascination with good shark movies like Jaws, and even awesomely bad ones, like Deep Blue Sea, but Shark Week's "real footage" just takes the cake!

Several new shows will run for this year's Shark Week, including The Great White Invasion, which premieres Sunday at 9 p.m.! Rogue Sharks, Killer Sharks and Jaws Comes Home are other new shows set to appear this year. I personally can't wait for Summer of the Shark (scheduled for 10 p.m. Monday, August 1). I am also REALLY PUMPED for How Sharks Hunt, set to air on Wednesday, August 3 at 9 p.m., because the stars of one of my favorite shows, Dual Survival, will be on this special! This means more unintentionally funny commentary from Cody and great one-liners from Dave! (Seriously, if you haven't watched Dual Survival yet, check it out ASAP...it is hilarious!) The Shark City special (9 p.m. Thursday, August 4) should be pretty good as Andy Samberg will be in it. Of course old Shark Week favorites, like Ultimate Air Jaws and 10 Deadliest Sharks, will return as well!

For a full schedule of shark biting fun and entertainment, here is the complete Shark Week 2011 lineup!

So be sure to enjoy this jawsome-winning event! If you are a fellow lover of Shark Week, tell us why you enjoy this television event so much! YAY for Shark Week!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Rantopia

You don’t have to fill these silences with idiotic, patronizing, sympathetic small talk. Seriously, shut up. I’m so tired of listening to the sound of your voice I could crap my pants and be happier. Why do so many people hate silence? If I’m sitting quietly, working; it does not mean I am bored, lonely, upset or desperately longing for human interaction. It means I am sitting quietly, working, hoping beyond hope to be left alone. Some people need their coffee in the morning, others their breakfast; I need three hours of not being asked if I’m feeling okay because I’m being so quiet. But noooooo, people come with their questions and their comments and their stupid little thoughts that probably wouldn’t make a blip on a CAT scan. Shut up. Sometimes it’s okay to just be quiet. Don’t we spend enough time being bombarded by noise? Remember silence is golden, and your face will be crimson if you don’t stop talking to me!

Speaking of word vomit, can anyone here explain to me how a conversation about the weather gets derailed so badly that it ends talking about anal caesarian section? I simply stated: “It’s hot out there.” Absently in a way that really means, I don’t want to talk to you, but I have to. The conversation went on to cover the heat and then this psycho old lady starts telling me about how she can’t get her kids to stop having grand babies. Apparently the Fourth of July is really hard on grandmas? According to her, it is. When did we start giving out gifts on Independence Day? She had a solution to solve this problem though, spay and neuter her children. I guess her only problem now is getting them all to the vet. Everyone, this is an actual conversation. Well, less conversation and more her talking at me while I try desperately to not laugh. Not the first chat I’ve had with her either. Once before she decided to inform me she was on the way to the hospital to have surgery. Apparently she had major complications from child birth. These complications have haunted her well into her sixties? Don’t worry she told me the complication. According to old crazy pants, the doctor was forced to remove her son via her rectum. Take a moment to read that again and soak in all the crazy. Done? Yeah, there is absolutely NO situation where a doctor would take that route to remove a child from its mother. Furthermore, why, why, why god why, are you telling me this?

Monday, July 25, 2011

Review: Captain America

The Wife: Wow! Captain America was awesome! I knew it would be good, but didn't know just how great it would be. Tommy Lee Jones, you never disappoint. Dominic Cooper did a great job as Howard Stark. He nailed the arrogance of the Stark name to a tee! I felt as if I was watching Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. I see good things in Cooper's future as an actor. Sebastian Stan, who I instantly recognized as CARTER BAIZEN from Gossip Girl, also portrayed Bucky very well (He certainly beat out his Gossip Girl co-star Blake Lively, who was in the Green Lantern, for best superhero movie). I found the friendship between Bucky and Steve Rogers (Captain America) to be very natural as well. I also must credit Hayley Atwell, who portrayed Peggy, Captain America's love interest, as being very good in her role as well. Not only was the actress beautiful, but it is refreshing to see a woman in hollywood today that actually has a body that resembles a real woman, not that of a 10 year-old girl. I don't know when or why stick-thin, none-figured women became attractive, so it was good to see Atwell, a curvy "normal" girl in the role. Not to mention she looked striking in the 1940s hair and makeup.

I must give the most credit to Chris Evans, who played Captain America/Steve Rogers. I have always found Evans to be quite the hottie all the way back to his Not Another Teen Movie days. He was also funny in The Fantastic Four films. However, he always played arrogant douchebag types, so I found myself skeptical of his ability to play the selfless Captain America. Well, Evans completely exceeded my expectations and NAILED the part! I have no doubts that he will be able to convey the great leader that is needed for next summer's Avengers film! In addition, did I mention that he isn't terrible to look at? ;)

So after much thinking and analyzing, I am calling it now — next to Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 (which stands alone in many ways), Captain America is the next best movie of the summer. The movie has all the elements that make a great film: excellent character development; action; humor; good overall plot; and a very believable love story. Elaborating on the love story some more, while it ends on a sad note, the development was very realistic (not rushed like many superhero film love stories) and you can see the real connection between Peggy and Captain America. The only reason I would not give this film a 10 out of 10 is due to the underdeveloped villain. We did not get enough backstory on Red Skull to fully believe his villainous nature. It was one of those "ok, we get it, he is the bad guy we aren't supposed to like" situations.

One more thing I should note about Captain America, is the pureness of the film. It isn't over-sexed like many movies today. No women walking around in bikinis and men being shirtless of the sake of looking hot. The one scene where Evans is shirtless is fitting to the actual storyline of the film. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is refreshing to see a movie that doesn't have to rely on sex to sell.

Before I end this review, I can't not mention the after credits scene. Apparently the majority of people at our movie theatre don't know that it is customary to stay after the credits of these Marvel films, so only a few of us remained for the spoiler scene at the end. Stop reading here and scroll down to Hobo Dan's review if you don't want to be completely spoiled. One of the things I was most looking forward to in Captain America was the after credits scene. I was hoping to see Loki (from Thor) and REALLY hoping to get a bit of some Tony Stark (yes, I love me some Tony Stark/Robert Downey Jr.!), well I got that and then some. We basically got a full on teaser trailer for The Avengers...and I even got a quick line from my precious Tony! Needless to say May 2012 can't come soon enough! Between The Avengers and then July 2012's The Dark Knight Rises, next summer's movie selection is looking quite promising!

Hobo Dan: Excuse me cut off t-shirt man, what are you doing? Instead of buying a tank top, you made the conscious effort to buy a regular t-shirt and cut off the sleeves. You even left the ends pointed; so now you look like Scorpion from Mortal Combat, only old and unable to shoot spears from his hands. “Get over here!” Then you decided to wear it to the movies? I can see wearing it to bail hay or work on your huge, loud truck or even to your 10 year “I’m out of jail” reunion, but to a public gathering place? You’re in your fifties. Seriously dude, get sleeves. No one wants to see your old man arms. Also, show some effort. You went with the cut off t-shirt but wore khaki pants? That’s like wearing assless chaps and a turtle neck.

Chris Evans, I apologize for ever doubting you. It’s just that I only ever saw you act in movies where you were a total douche. I just figured you couldn’t do anything else. I’m sorry. The only thing about your performance that bothered me was how you had that deep voice even before all the roids turned you into Captain America. That is more of a directorial blunder though. Really Chris, you were much better than I expected. You probably saved the movie from it’s largely underdeveloped villain. Also on the acting front, Mr. Tommy Lee Jones is awesome; always. Also awesome; Dominic Cooper as Tony Stark’s father, Howard. Not only do you look like RDJ but man you did a great job acting like him. Your performance here makes me want to see The Devil’s Double even more.

I greatly enjoyed this movie. I haven't decided yet if I liked it more than Thor. Thor seemed more like it's own movie. Captain America seems so much like a preface to the Avengers. So much so that I believe it sacrificed some story. It is still a great movie, but I think it could have been even better if it wasn't so concerned with setting up the Avengers. A simple for instance is the end when Cap meets Nick Fury. If you haven't seen any of the other Marvel movies recently, you have no idea who he is. He doesn't even bother to introduce himself. Sure, how many people watching this are completely new to Marvel movies; very few. I guess I just believe movies should make sense for everyone watching them, be they long time fanboy or Mr. living under a rock for 20 years.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

2011 Dump Family Vacation: Recap

We had this magnificent blog post prepared for you all to read. Then an unholy crap storm stuck down upon us from the heavens and deleted 90% of what was written. An argument of massive proportions erupted between the the Wife and myself over who's fault this might have been. I lost. Here is our best effort after the argument and my subsequent punishment. I believe she's going to make me see The Smurfs movie to atone for my sins.

The Wife: For our first day spent in Florida, we ventured out of the Disney area to the land of wands, magic and spells. Yes, we went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. Including this recent trip, I have been to Disney seven times, but I have never been to Universal. I stand by my word that Disney is better, but the Harry Potterness makes the trip to Universal worth it. In the mini blog (and a recent paragraph that was deleted by incorrect use of the space bar... NOT BY ME!) I discussed the park experience in detail. I refuse to write about all of that again, but I will highlight my favorites. For one, I cried when I first laid eyes upon the Hogwarts Castle. It was breathtaking! I got to experience everything I wanted to at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I had butterbeer and pumpkin juice, which were both delicious, visited all of the Hogsmeade shops, where I purchased the famous Harry Potter chocolate frog in the Honeydukes shop. Each frog contains a trading card like from the books (only you get one of the four house leaders not the Dumbledore card). I got the Rowena Ravenclaw card, not my favorite, but I'll take it! We also saw Hagrid's Hut and visited the Ollivander's Wand Show, which was awesome, even though I should have been picked to receive the free wand instead of that little kid! I had an amazing meal at The Three Broomsticks as well, which looks exactly like the movie!

Our favorite ride was Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey, a simulator type ride located within the castle. The Harry Potter actors recorded scenes for the ride, which uses both screen movement technology mixed with animatronics. During the ride, you fly over the castle and Quidditch field as well as encounter spiders and the evil dementors. I can't tell if the husband was amused or embarrassed when I shouted "expecto patronum!" at the dementors. Winning! The ride line queue was even epic as you toured the castle, saw the greenhouse, moving portraits, Dumbledore's office, the entrance to Gryffindor and of course, the famous sorting hat! It is one of the coolest rides I have ever been on, but if you choose to ride this, be sure to pop a dramamine if you are prone to motion sickness!

Basically the attention to detail spent at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, whether it be on the Hogsmeade shops or the Hogwarts castle, is amazing. If you are a true Harry Potter fan, like me, this is a must see. I made a vow last summer when the park opened that I would go in 2011, but I never really thought it would happen. Needless to say I was quite a happy little muggle wannabe Gryffindor during my time at the park. I already anticipate my next trip! If only I could take the Hogwarts Express to get there!

(Here is a paragraph that was not deleted! Hooray!) Well we can't wrap this re-cap post without actually talking about Disney. As usual it was a great time. I know we got lots of exercise walking around the parks each day too. We visited the core four parks: Animal Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom. I can never pick a favorite park as I love them all. I really like the rides at Hollywood Studios, but I also really enjoy Epcot — a park that has become more fun to me now that I am older. The Animal Kingdom has one of my favorite Disney rides, Expedition Everest, so I like it too. Of course, The Magic Kingdom will always hold a special place in my heart as it is the symbol of all things Disney. It has Cinderella's Castle and my beloved rides, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion and my favorite of all the attractions, Splash Mountain! Sporting my Minnie Ears, each day at Disney was awesome. Sure it was hot, but it didn't matter because we were in Disney, duh! My favorite part of Disney was our character dinner experience at The Garden Grill in Epcot. Along with amazing food (best meal of the trip!) we got to be kids again and meet Chip, Dale, Pluto and of course, Mickey! I loved taking pictures with the characters and was just as excited as any child in the restaurant. I also loved that I finally tried the famous Dole Whip at Disney. It was worth the hype. My favorite evening of the trip was spent at Hollywood Studios, where I munched on the famous Mickey Ice Cream Bar and watched the "Fantasmic!" show. Fantasmic was great and is easily the best of all the Disney Park shows! If you are a lover of all things Disney and grew up watching all the classic movies, this is a must see show!

I already miss Disney. I am very much a type-A personality and tend to be stressed constantly. In Disney, I was never stressed. It is the most relaxed I have been in quite sometime. I love how at Disney you can temporarily re-visit the carefree days of childhood. I have spent holidays, birthdays and even my honeymoon at Disney. Needless to say, I can't wait to return to "The Happiest Place on Earth!"

On an unrelated note to the husband, I look forward to seeing The Smurfs!

Hobo Dan: So yeah, Disney is awesome. This coming from the guy who hates lines, large crowds, noise and general tomfoolery. They also make it so easy to see and do everything thanks to the easy pass that allows you to go to any park any time you're there. Not to mention the giant Lego store at Downtown Disney. I'd say MGM... I mean Hollywood Studios is probably my favorite park. It has great rides including the recently revamped Star Tours ride. Now you can ride it over and over and get different rides every time. I think someone said there are 50 different combinations for the ride. If you like Star Wars, go ride it. Hollywood Studios also has the best other rides (outside Expedition Everest).

I also can't write about Disney without mentioning The Magic Kingdom. It was really fun too, other than watching a girl puke her guts out right beside me in the line for Space Mountain. What is really awesome is the new part of Fantasyland they are working on for 2012. They are building the castle from Beauty and the Beast. Sweet. Epcot is also really cool and has the best food. Even when people are walking around pronouncing it Ep-i-cot. I love when people add letters to words.

What's this? A paragraph back from the grave from our original post. I had it saved in my email: Apparently July is Brazil month at Disney (it actually is). During the month every annoying teenager in the country uproots and travels to Florida to haunt my dreams. The encounter starts innocently enough; small over the horizon your eye caches a glimpse of a flag or inflated marker of some type. As it closes in you realize the flag is surrounded by a sea of kids wearing matching, brightly colored T-shirts. Before you know it they are on you. They are the mob, the swarm, there is no escaping their destruction. As one of our bus drivers put it: “When you see that flag, run the other way.” Being from Brazil, they obviously speak Portuguese; a language no one else speaks. I guess there is no word for line in Portuguese because they can’t comprehend what one is or how to wait in one. Single file? Screw that, they mass around the entrance, pushing their way in. They have no problem pressing themselves against one another or you. In the hot July sun and humidity this only served to make me miserable and irritable. I guess in Brazil they test structural integrity by mindlessly beating on something until it falls over or they tire. Since they never tire the pounding goes on endlessly until the line moves past what ever object they felt the need to test out. In this case a door adorned with marbles. It made a super awesome noise when they bashed their hands onto it. It’s probably good we were in a confined space. If I’d had room to swing my fists I’d probably be in jail right now.

The Wife: I should mention quickly, since my post about this magnificent man got deleted due to aforementioned misuse of the spacebar, that we did encounter king of the rednecks while in line for The Tower of Terror at Hollywood Studios. This man also wasn't fond of the Brazilians and he felt the need to loudly proclaim that he wanted to "smack 'em in the mouth." He also gave us fun facts about how Disney rents out the parks for two weeks for a fee of $20,000. First of all that would be super cheap to have Disney all to yourself, and secondly, um no, pretty sure they don't completely close parks for two weeks just to rent them out to groups. They don't even close the park for celebrities! He also leaned over my shoulder and played 20 questions about my blackberry. I was never so relieved to get on a plummeting elevator!

Hobo Dan: Next time we go on vacation and choose to write about it I'll make sure I learn to properly use the keyboard so another deletion situation does not arise.

So there you have it, our 2011 Dump Family Vacation! Now here are some pictures for your enjoyment:

Our hotel, Disney's Coronado Springs Resort

Hogwarts Castle!

Big 'ole rhino at Animal Kingdom! The Wife could have reached out and touched this cutie!

Cinderella's Castle!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Well, one of the most successful book and movie franchises has come to an end. If you haven't already guessed it, we like Harry Potter, especially the wife.  In our reviews below, there will be spoilers, FYI. This quote from the great Stephen King sums up the series perfectly (sorry if we offend you, Twilight fans):

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." — Stephen King

The Wife: Truly the end of an era. That's how I felt after seeing (and sobbing my way through) the final film of the Harry Potter franchise: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. As those of you who follow this blog know, I am a huge Harry Potter fan. Call me a nerd, I don't care. The Harry Potter books and "The Boy Who Lived" changed my life and the way I view writing, character development and more. The books and movies were a huge part of my youth. The way J.K. Rowling wrote the Harry Potter characters, especially the core three, makes me feel like they are family. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. I have never in my life been so emotionally attached to characters from a book/movie franchise. While the books will always be dearest to me, the films are no slouch either. We really got to see the core three Daniel Radcliffe (Harry), Rupert Grint (Ron) and Emma Watson (Hermione) grow up. As they grew up, I grew up.

I came into the theatre with mixed feelings of excitement and sadness. I knew this was truly the end. Bittersweet, really. Of course I knew the plot as I've read the books multiple times, but the final film marked the last Harry Potter thing to look forward to (except for my next trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, which is a must because that place is amazing!).  For the past several years, I've had either a Harry Potter book or movie to anticipate...and now it really is all over. Sadness aside, the film met almost all of my expectations and is easily the BEST movie of the summer. It picked right up from Part 1 and was action packed all the way through! When Ron and Hermione FINALLY kissed, I clapped and cheered as loudly as I did when I first read the kiss scene in the books. I cheered again when Mrs. Weasley majorly owned the evil Bellatrix! I also clapped during Neville's (my favorite side character) ownage. I sobbed when my dear Fred died (yes that's right...sobbed not cry!). I sobbed some more when Harry said goodbye to Ron and Hermione and of course during the Snape redemption scenes. And in the final scene, as cheesy as the epliogue came off on screen, I sobbed some more because it was OVER. Watching the core three (plus Ginny) say goodbye to their children who were off to Hogwarts 19 years later was emotional (even though the actors totally didn't look old enough to have kids haha) because at that point the series came full circle and it really was the final "goodbye." I am not really a big movie cryer... but I sobbed during this. I came out of the theatre emotionally drained for sure.

On a side note, Alan Rickman (Snape) deserves an Oscar for his performance in this film. I am sure that will never happen, but his scenes were so amazing in such an already emotionally-packed movie.

That being said, as soon as we were walking out and people were looking at me as if I was insane due to my puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks,  I convinced the husband that I had to see the movie AGAIN. So we grabbed some dinner and marched back to the theatre for a second viewing. I was able to keep my tears to a minimum this showing, but still enjoyed the finale of a series that has truly impacted my life. I guess I still have the Blu-Ray of the film to anticipate... so that's good! I am sure I will be re-reading my Harry Potter books soon too. That certainly seems in order.

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love. By returning, you may ensure that fewer souls are maimed, fewer families are torn apart. If that seems to you a worthy goal, then we say good-bye for the present.” — Albus Dumbledore

Hobo Dan: Let me get this out of the way before I say anything else; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is the best movie I've seen this summer. My sincerest apologies to Thor, but this has everything. From opening credits to close it's packed full of action. There is never a dull moment. The emotions running through the film are not only strong, but real. Anyone who has seen all the previous editions of the franchise should feel something during this movie.  It does occasionally fall victim to it own heavy story. If you haven't read the books there may be a few places that just don't add up. It's not really a deal breaker, especially given the length of the source material, but it does happen. There are times in the movie that just seen too convenient. Those are much better explained in the books. I would highly suggest to anyone who has only seen the movies to now go back and read the books. I seen no reason why the books will not be thought of in the same breath as The Lord of the Rings in fifty years.

I didn't dress up or bring a wand to the showing. I can't quote the books endlessly. I actually have forgotten more about the books than I care to mention. I'm just not the super Harry Potter fan like so many others. That said I do feel a close bond with the characters and world contained here. I think that is the true mark of quality entertainment; a connection with the characters and their struggles. It has been a true pleasure to go on this journey. Unlike so many others I'm not sad. The true beauty of books and movies is that you can always go back and visit.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Monkey Butt

Hobo Dan: Somewhere around the Georgia-South Carolina border it hit. Sweat soaked my under carriage. Sitting too long is no fun, sitting for too long in a puddle of your own smelly sweat is even worse. Then when you get out your pants and underwear cling to your rear like a child to its mother. After a 13 hour drive they have melded with you and become a part of your skin. The price we pay for vacation.

I'm tired now, and have to take over driving soon. See you Monday.

The Wife: I am tired. I love and miss Disney. Can't wait to see my puppy boy though. Will write more later. K, thanks, bye!

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When Strollers Attack!

Hobo Dan: There is no better wake up call then when some kid walks by your hotel window and loudly states "Something smells like ass!" What a great way to rise and grind. What a wonderful observation to loudly declare at 7 a.m. right by my window.

I had no idea Disney was so dangerous. Today, for instance, I almost had my foot cut off by a baby stroller. The razor blade sharp front end maimed my left ankle. My foot is holding on by a few tendons. I hope I don't need surgery to repair my broken soul. I think it's time to start requiring special license and training to operate those things. I'm not just thinking of myself here; kids have to ride in those death traps. The least we could do is make sure idiots aren't driving them. Then again maybe those idiots shouldn't be breeding either.

Wow today was hot. I know it's Florida in July, what should I expect? The wind just stopped and we baked like cake. Then we decided to take a boat ride in a floating oven. Throw on some salt and pair me with a nice wine and you have a damn fine meal. But seriously it has been a great trip.

The Wife: My legs are killing me and I have a ginormous blister on my toe (and yes, I wore tennis shoes not flip flops!). Despite my injuries and the husband's near death experience with a stroller (see above) today was of course fun because it is Disney...the Happiest Place on Earth and my most favorite place ever! Seriously you weirdos that don't like Disney creep me out! Sure the parks get crowded but whatever...it's Disney! Most line areas are even themed (unlike regular amusement parks) so the wait never seems long!

This trip we've been pretty lucky with very little waits too, especially for July, which we have discovered really is Brazil month. I am all for diversity and culture, but seriously these massive Brazil groups don't get what a line is and just mass together. At one point I thought they formed a black hole around us and that I would never see my beloved Mickey again!

Other than the heat (duh it's Florida people who come here in July and gripe about being hot must be idiots) and the scary stampede of Brazilians, today was a lot of fun. We toured the world at Epcot and ventured to Hollywood Studios again, where we rode the Rockin' Roller Coaster and had some winning-good popcorn.

Closing the day was a trip to Magic Kingdom, the focal point of all Disney Parks! Here we dined at a restaurant based on the one from Lady and the Tramp (do kids today even know that movie?) and then rode all the classic rides: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Haunted Mansion, and of course my favorite, Splash Mountain!

Oh and I should mention that we finally tried the famous pineapple "Dole Whips" and I must say they are worth the hype!
 
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

...And Star Tours is Awesome!

The Wife: Disney is truly the happiest place on earth. Sure it's hot and the parks can get crowded (with lots of people who do not understand the concept of a line...le sigh), but it doesn't matter. To sound uber cheesy it really is a magical place here! Winning!

Today we began our adventure with some wild fun at Animal Kingdom. Battled a Yeti on Expedition Everest (one of my top fav rides in all of Disney) and had some fun in an African Safari. Got some great animal pics (except for when my camera once again decided to be hateful when I tried to get an elephant pic...don't worry I got a cute baby elephant pic despite my cameras random rage quits) that we will post later. We also saw Nemo the Musical! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!

And the best part of today was our dinner at Epcot. We ate at the Garden Grill Restaurant and along with the amazingly good food, we were joined by Pluto (who seriously loved me and came by to see me like 10 times), Chip, Dale and the man of honor himself, MICKEY! I was as excited as the four year olds in the restaurant. You can be a kid again at Disney, which is great considering the stressed out adult lives we lead!

We closed today with Mickey ice cream and the Fantasmic Show at Hollywood Studios. Also rode some rides thanks to the winning power of extra magic hours.

And a Star Tours is awesome!

Hobo Dan: When large crowds get together, they love to rejoice in their shared stupidity by doing the wave. An internationally recognized sign that we are all idiots. Why would Aliens in search of other intelligent life come here. I'm pretty sure if Aliens are real, they are more like Independence Day.

Pluto the dog really liked my wife. He kissed her and hugged her and even copped a feel. Then he crapped on the floor of the restaurant and I got to rub his nose in it; so he got what was coming.

I guess the USA is the only country in the world with lines. That is the only explanation as to why foreigners have no idea what to do or how to act when in them. They believe the best way to get to the destination is to mass around it and crowd in until everyone else just gets out of the way. I guess it's just because their afraid it won't be there if they don't hurry? Fear not foreigners, this is America, we've got our shit together when it comes to entertaining distractions from important matters; haven't you played Angry Birds?

And Star Tours is Awesome!

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Sunday, July 10, 2011

You're A Wizard Harry

The Wife: Epic. Amazing. Breathtaking. Totally winning! All words to describe the sheer awesomeness that is The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, located at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. Matching Gryffindor shirts and all (I also had a Gryffindor tie!), Daniel and I were ready for a nerd fest day o' fun at Harry Potter land! The Hogwarts castle was just like the movie and how I always imagined it! Hogsmead and all the shops were amazing! Butterbeer was awesome as was Pumpkin Juice...oh! We also had an amazingly delicious lunch in The Three Broomsticks (place from books and movies). And I even found a chocolate frog! *nerdgasim*.

The Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey Ride is one of the most amazing rides I have ever been on. I screamed, casted my patronus spell when the Dementors attacked and basically was in fangirl heaven. Spiders attack at one point and I did Ron's "can we panic now?" Quote from HP and The Chamber of Secrets! For once in our marriage, today I was the nerdiest Roush! Before Flight of the Hippogriff (rollercoaster) I even bowed at Buckbeak and the Universal employees told me good job. I am the coolest!

Basically the HP Park was a dream come true. Even the bathrooms were awesome thanks to Moaning Myrtle. If you love HP, you must come here! Experience of a lifetime! Sooo sorry if this post wasn't the funniest, but I had to fangirl blog. (Along with HP I also got my pic taken with CYCLOPS from X-Men!) I am sure the hubs has some funny musings below!

Hobo Dan: Crotch fondling Mexican kid please stop. I understand adjustments are needed on occasion but you're putting on a tease show in the middle of the lobby with Mickey watching and everything. Chill kid you can't be too rough with that equipment.

Did you guys hear we went to the Harry Potter park today? I'm sorry the Wife under sold it so much. It really was pretty cool. Question: does something called butterbeer sound like a good idea when it is 95 outside and the suns beating down on you? Butterbeer was a bad choice. Yeah it was good, but after 30 minutes it started curling in my stomach; it was a fun time. It was also pretty funny to see my wife shouting HP spells at the creatures on the ride. She can never make fun of me for light saber fighting again.

Attention fat people on scooters: drive into the ocean. If you have a real excuse to use that thing (fat shouldn't count) then at least learn how to drive it. Also avoid the super narrow aisles in all the stores, you're going to get stuck and I'm not pulling your ass out. That about sums it all up.
Stay tuned for more coverage tomorrow! Visiting Disney parks!

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Saturday, July 9, 2011

We Love Disney Sandwiches

Hobo Dan: Hey everyone, sorry this is so late, but I'm on vacation and I'll do what I want. Anyways here is a picture of the greatest sandwich EVAR! Drool noobs. So now that I've had this sandwich the trip is complete; time to head home. Writing this from a bus heading back to the hotel. At least this trip I don't have two small South American kids dry humping each other in my face. I'll fill you in later.

The Wife: We are finally at Disney, my favorite place in the whole world and of course "The Happiest Place on Earth!" We arrived at our Disney Resort this evening and it has already been awesome. I seriously love being told to "have a magical day" constantly. And our hotel, which is kind of southwest/mexican themed is beautiful! To top it off it even comes with our very own hilariously entertaining Guatemalan soccer team. See above post for details!

Also, as Daniel mentioned...the sandwiches. Earl of Sandwich at downtown Disney is almost worth the trip here all by itself. Disney even makes food taste better!

The trip here was pretty smooth even with my intense fear of flying. The children behind me didn't help my nerves by shouting "we are gonna fly to space...or crash!" Thanks kid. The same kids also felt the need to kick my seat multiple times. It didn't matter though cause I was on my way to Disney!

Tomorrow we will venture to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter! Be ready for an uber nerdfest!
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Thursday, July 7, 2011

2011 Dump Family Vacation

You’re reading the title right, they are letting us out for a week to go on vacation. Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol? The Wife and I are heading down to Florida to visit Walt Disney World and also The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal. Pause for a moment and listen; yes that is the blood curdling scream of my wife's anticipation (she does that every time I mention the Harry Potter Park.) See there it was again! But we aren’t going to leave you fine folks out in the cold for a week. Matching Gryffindor t-shirts and all we will be venturing into the parks with our phones ready to update you at first sight of furries.

Our goal is to post a mini blog once at day starting on Saturday (probably in the evening time). These mini blogs will be bigger than a tweet, but smaller than our normal posts. If you don't know what a tweet is or how long one usually is then go find out for yourself. Gosh, you expect me to tell you everything? We hope to include pictures as well, assuming we can get the technology to work with us. Also be sure to follow each of us on twitter for little ninja comments. I may or may not be taking random, bizarre, gross, disturbing, misleading and hilarious pictures and tweeting them, so follow us to find out. @Dumptheblog for me and @lilrunner for the Wife! Seriously people, get with the times and pick up a twitter account.

Fear not, we will return the week after with a vengeance. On Monday, July 18 we will drop our thoughts about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (did you hear that scream again) and the week after on the 25th we will be getting down to the tune of Captain America! Also on Thursday, July 21 we will be giving a full recap of our vacation adventure. After that, it's August and summer is almost over *sad clown face*. August does bring rumblings of my 2011 Fall Movie Preview and small on the horizon, the 2011 Mothman Festival in September! The Wife and I put on a 5k race for it and everything! It's going to be an exciting end to the summer and I'll be blogging my heart out all along the way. If you're keeping track this is seven solid months of posting from me and no sight of slowing down.

Comment below if you have any requests or suggestions of things we should see or do and report back on while in Orlando. If anyone knows where I can find large signs or objects that are easily taken out of context I'll be very grateful.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Fourth of July

You shouldn’t be reading this. I mean come on, it’s the Fourth of July, go outside and grill something or throw lit Roman Candles into the air and try to dodge them. If you’re from another country… um… Happy Monday? Anyways, the Wife and I thought it would be fun to share our favorite Fourth of July movies with you. They don’t necessarily have to be about the holiday itself, just something we like to watch during this festive time. We want to feature movies that portray the true meaning of being American and the spirit of freedom; all that happy horse manure and we were too lazy to watch a Best Picture this week. If we don’t mention something you like to watch, or if you have any thoughts on the subject in general, please comment below the post. We always love to hear from you.

Hobo Dan: I always think of the original Star Wars films when I think about holiday movies. Yeah, it may sound strange, but do you remember the days before the movies were out on video? They always showed them on TV on holiday weekends (I guess maybe they still do). This was my first introduction to them at all as a child. I still laugh every time I watch the trilogy now on DVD and see scenes that were edited out of the TV version for time. Scenes I didn’t even know existed before 1997 (when they re-released them in theaters). Now days I just wish they’d just edit out all the special edition crap or the prequel trilogy. But hey, they shot off fire works at the end of Return of the Jedi after blowing up Death Star 2; maybe that was on the Fourth of July in a galaxy far far away...

The Wife: My Fourth of July pick is a bit more "traditionally patriotic." I choose INDEPENDENCE DAY! The movie is the epitome of a 90's classic and offers some great action, characters and a pretty cool plot. Sure it has that cheesy vibe, but that's what makes it so great. This is a must watch every Fourth of July...I mean the name is "Independence Day." America saves aliens from attacking the planet and causing the human race to be extinct! The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Jeff Goldblum make quite the duo as well. Oh! And COUSIN EDDY (Randy Quaid) is in this! Winning! This film also is humorous, but still maintains some degree of emotional depth, which unfortunately is lost in many new action/funny movies today. I enjoy the Love Actually type set-up as well...meaning I like how there are separate character stories, but everything comes together in the end. Independence Day has become so permanently stamped into my Fourth of July tradition that we had to purchase a copy on Blu-Ray over the weekend. The movie just makes me happy!

So there you have it. Along with a family cook-out, our Fourth of July weekend has consisted of a Star Wars marathon and MULTIPLE viewings of Independence Day. We will leave you with this patriotic, pump you up, heroic, epic, WINNING speech: